Truths & Myths about Cleveland (Pt. 1)

Recently, a few “tourism” videos for Cleveland have found their way onto the Internet. For the most part, these videos poke fun of the city of Cleveland, and as a native Clevelander and fan/lover/apologist for my city, I naturally think….they are hilarious!!! Nonetheless, I thought I would take this opportunity to post both these videos for your watching enjoyment, and clear up which parts are funny because they are true, and which are funny because they are absolutely ridiculous! While I will tolerate my city being slandered for numerous deserved reasons, I will not stand idly by and watch it get ridiculed for made-up chicanery! Here is the first video, accompanied by some of the keys statements, and my interpretation of whether they are truth or myth. The second video and commentary will be posted in a few days.

Statement: Come and see both of our buildings.

Verdict: Truth! While there are numerous buildings in downtown Cleveland, only Key Tower (built in 1991) and the Terminal Tower (built in 1930) rise above 700 ft.

Statement: Buy some food that’s prepared by the street.

Verdict: Truth! While technically true, I don’t see how this is grounds for making fun of a city! The last few cities I have traveled to have many more street vendors than Cleveland, and who doesn’t enjoy the convenience and affordability of hot dog served on side of the road. 

Statement: Who knows you might even see this guy.

Verdict: Truth! That guy really does live in Cleveland! As do many other doo ragged, facial haired, blue collars types just like him!

Statement: W. 6^th Street is the perfect place if you’re a douchebag.

Verdict: Unknown! I have never been to said street, but judging from the buildings they show, it seems like an area that could be home to frequent douchebaggery. Fortunately, Cleveland has one of the lowest douchbag populations per capita in the nation. Mostly because its too cold to wear tight Affliction t-shirts.

Statement: This train is carrying jobs out of Cleveland.

Verdict: Myth! While the loss of the steel industry hurt it, the city of Cleveland has worked hard to diversify its economy from strictly manufacturing and has experienced as recent boom in office real estate. Its largest employer is the Cleveland Clinic, a world renowned hospital, who recently replaced someone’s face! 

Statement: Cleveland leads the nation in drifters.

Verdict: Myth! We are actually between #4 and #8 in drifters, depending on who’s definition of “drifter” you use. 

Statement: Moses Cleveland invented Cleveland.

Verdict: True! General Cleaveland helped negotiate the rights to be able to survey the land where Cleveland now sits. While the Mohawk and Seneca Indians technically owned the land, they were appeased with gifts of simple beads and whiskey (and the slightly more complicated, beaded whiskey). Ironically, this is not where the Cleveland Indians get their name. The were named by the media, at the request of the owner, in reference to the Boston (now Atlanta) Braves.