Friday, May 22, 2009

10 Greatest Songs Ever...

...at least in my opinion...on this particular day.

I was tempted to write an article about the rough Game 1 loss by the Cavs, but I promised a music post, and I have my integrity as a blog writer to think about. This is actually a list I posted on Facebook, but I thought I would update it, add some commentary, and put it up on The Barker. Amazingly, it has been only about 10 months since I posted this list, and there are a lot of changes. The songs that were previously at 4, 5, 7, and 8 fell completely off the list, and there was lots of maneuvering. Unlike my most played list, I will stand behind every one of these songs. There are obviously lots of different criteria that could be used, but I think mine was a combination of enjoyability, personal meaning, and historical greatness. I encourage you to disagree with me and to make your own list. Try ordering them too, it definitely adds to the difficulty. Would love to see everyone’s attempt at this! 

With no more ado, here it is: 

10. 311 – Love Song: I realize this is a cover, but I like this version better. My apologies to The Cure.

9. Dave Matthews Band – Satellite: This has always been my favorite Dave song, but a funny thing has happened. When I was in college, I was kind of anti-Dave because of all the hype around him, and liking Dave became cliché and expected. But now that I am away from that environment, I find myself liking him more and more. It’s like the opposite of peer pressure.

8. Heart – Dog and Butterfly: Not one of Heart’s more popular songs, but it is definitely one of their best. If you haven’t heard this before, do yourself a favor and do so.

7. Elton John – Tiny Dancer: Was #2 on the last list, dropped due to no fault of its own but the amazingness of the songs ahead of it. The first of two songs on this list with connections to Almost Famous. I don’t know if that is because I like that movie so much that I end up loving the music, or that they just did such an amazing job picking music for that movie.

6. Pink Floyd – Wish You Were Here: No explanation necessary. Ironically, the basic pattern for this song is easy to play on the guitar, and I can almost do it.

5. The Format – On Your Porch: An incredible and emotion filled song by a highly underrated band.

4. Better Than Ezra – Lifetime: Somehow makes a song about death seem upbeat, almost a celebration of the life as opposed to a sadness for the passing.

3. Bayside – Winter: Back to back songs about death. This one is more on the sadness/mourning side of the coin, but still an great and powerful song. Went from unranked in the last list to #3.

2. Elton John – Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters: I’m as surprised as anyone that there are two Elton John songs on here. I couldn’t in good conscience get rid of Tiny Dancer, and I have gotten really into this song lately. Another one by a famous singer that is not considered one of their top hits.

1. Led Zeppelin - Going to California: The champ still holding strong! This is just an incredible on so many levels. I can put it on anytime, anywhere, and just drift away.

Alright everyone, the gauntlet has been laid down! Let's see some lists posted in comments, your own blogs, Facebook, wherever.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Conference Finals Predictions

Wanted to write at least a brief preview of the two conference finals in the NBA, in part, because I haven’t done a sports post in awhile and some have been asking for one (I got your back, Andy). Also, I am more interested in these late playoff matchups than usual because the Cavs are not only still in it, but they have yet to lose a game in the playoffs and are currently a 1-2 favorite to win it all!

Western Conference – Nuggets in 6

I thought this was going to my big upset pick, but it appears just about every analyst is picking Denver now. The Lakers showed just how vulnerable they are in the last two series. Kobe is a sensational talent, and Pau Gasol plays solid, but they are too much of a finesse team. You have to be able bang down low in the playoffs, make and take hard fouls, and play a solid halfcourt game. Most of all, you have to play with heart and intensity. Heart and intensity is how Boston almost took down Orlando while giving significant minutes to Brian Scalabrine, who could easily be mistaken for Jason Segel’s stunt double. Heart and intensity is not how you go a tough 7 games against a Rockets team that had lost its two best players! 


Meanwhile, the Nuggets are destroying everyone they play (almost as badly as the Cavs have been, against admittedly more talented teams) and appear to be peaking at the right time. Much like the Cavs, they have a talented superstar (Carmelo), a solid point guard who is not afraid to defer or take the big shot when necessary (Billups), and a compliment of role players and big men (Kenyon Martin, Nene, Chris Anderson). Perhaps Denver has just been more motivated than LA, and LA really can turn it on whenever they want (they certainly did in Game 7 against Hou). But based on the resumes thus far, you have to go Denver on this one, and since I think LA would win a Game 7 at home, it has to be in 6. Admittedly, this is a selfish pick, as I want the Cavs to play Denver if they advance, because LA was the only team to really beat the Cavs in our house. 

Eastern Conference – Cavaliers in 5 

I wasn’t particularly scared of either Boston or Orlando against the Cavs, but I did prefer Boston because of their injuries and lack of frontcourt depth. Orlando did play well against the Cavs in the regular season, mainly because Dwight Howard causes mismatches down low, and once the Cavs double team him, it is tough to close out against Orlando’s talented 3-point shooters (e.g., Rashard Lewis, JJ Reddick). Also, thanks to Howard, the Magic are one of the few teams that keep the Cavs off of the offensive boards, limiting second chance points. Plus, they have a talented point guard (Rafer Alston, aka Skip to My Lou…the inspiration behind Kevin “Skip” Loo’s nickname) to distribute the ball. 

All that being said, this is the playoffs. The Cavs have played like a team that truly has “One Goal.” They have completely demolished the competition so far, and although they weren’t the top of the league, the Pistons and Hawks were playoff teams with quality All-Stars on their roster. They are very well-rested, and I really see them continuing to the play with that intensity. While the Cavs can’t matchup with Howard exactly (who can?!?), they have the frontcourt depth to throw different looks at him and survive someone being in foul trouble. Not to mention, the Cavs are the best defense team in the league, so they can keep themselves in games when they aren’t shooting particularly well. Finally, we have the ultimate playoff trump card: the Cavs can play the best player on the planet (and this is no contest now, just about every article I have read the last few months on the Kobe/LeBron debate agrees) for an entire 48 minutes if necessary. And after the defense keeps those games close into the 4th quarter, would you rather be on the team with or without LeBron James? 

In any case, it better play out like this, or I will likely be inconsolable for several days…

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Pros and Cons

This is a very exciting entry: My first ever post on back-to-back days! Therefore, if you’ve been away for a day or two (or more...shame on you!), there are some hilarious Cleveland entries you should make sure you scroll down and read. Not sure if “The Pros and Cons” (The Ps&Cs) will become a blog franchise or not yet, but here is take one.

The Pros: Four Things I Am Looking Forward to this Week

1. The Biggest Loser Finale – Who will win this record-setting season? Who did the fans vote for to make the final 3? Who did the best at home? Will we finally get to see Allison Sweeney’s baby? And most importantly, when does the next season start? All these questions and more may be answered!

2. The Lost Finale – Thanks to the Cavs taking care of business in a timely fashion, I get to watch this finale at Jeff’s with other Lost-aholics! Thus, we get to marvel as they finally answer some questions, cheer at the twist and turns, and in the end, complain that they didn’t really explain anything and we are as confused as ever.

3. Angels & Demons – Not sure if I will get around to going to see it this weekend, but I am re-reading the book to get prepared for eventually checking it out.. I have always like this book better than The Da Vinci Code, and I figure it will be the same for the movies, since I was particularly unimpressed by both the movie and Tom Hank's mullet.



4. Going to the Indians-Rays Game – Despite the fact that they had the worst record in baseball before winning last night, I still love my Indians, and I will be out in full force to root them on at the Trop on Saturday. As I an added bonus, I will probably be out on the Gulf all morning before heading out there. Got to love FL and having friends with tickets and boat connections!

The Cons: Two Things I Am Not Looking Forward to This Week

1. No Cavs Games – Yes, I am extremely excited they swept another series and have won all 8 games by double-digits (that’s a record!). Nonetheless, the earliest they will play is Sunday, and next Wednesday is much more likely. The suspense and possibilities of this season are already going to kill me; I don’t need these long breaks making it worse. Rest up fellas, and let’s take it to Orlando/Boston!

2. Abby leaving me for 2 weeks on Thursday – As most of you know by now, I am currently dating a great girl by the name of Abby. She is leaving for a trip to Ecuador on Thursday; I am so excited for her, and I know it will be an amazing trip (as I’ve often reminded her :) ). Nonetheless, I will miss her a lot, and I guess I will just have to find ways to keep my mind and time occupied for two weeks. Happy Hour anyone?

Monday, May 11, 2009

Truth & Myths About Cleveland (Pt. 2)

The 2nd of the two Cleveland “tourism” videos seems a bit more mean-spirited in my opinion, but since native Clevelanders made these, I guess I can’t take much offense. Once again, we will delve deep into the “accusations” made by this video, posted below.


Statement: Under construction since 1868.

Verdict: Myth! While orange barrels are the official tree of Ohio, there was a brief period during the Great Depression when no one could afford to build anything, and thus, nothing was officially under construction. 

Statement: Come see our river that catches on fire…

Verdict: Truth! The Cuyahoga river has actually caught fire 13 times! The most famous one being in 1969, but on the bright side, it did spur several federal protective measures including the Clean Water Act of 1972. 

Statement: …it’s so polluted that all our fish have AIDS.

Verdict: Myth! Fish can’t get AIDS, and if they could, they would be very unlikely to get it from polluted rivers. This is to say nothing about Herpes Simplex II. 

Statement: We see the sun almost 3 times a year.

Verdict: Myth! While my dad would swear this is true, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration says that Cleveland has 66 sunny days a year (which doesn’t even include those glorious partly cloudy days!). Suck it, Buffalo (54)! For the record, Tampa has 101…why did I move here again? 

Statement: The Flats look like a Scooby Doo ghost town.

Verdict: Truth! The Flats used to be the go-to downtown hot spot. I even remember reading when I was a kid that NBA players (including one Chuck Barkley) loving being in Cleveland on road games just to go there. However, it got sketchy, as many of these areas do, a nicer version was built, and now there is basically nothing there. Plus, all the colorful old buildings make it look very Scooby Doo. 

Statement: Don’t slow down in East Cleveland or you’ll die.

Verdict: Myth! This is a sweeping over exaggeration. However, coming to a complete stop in certain areas of East Cleveland will almost certainly get you mortally wounded. 

Statement: Our economy is based on LeBron James.

Verdict: Truth! And how! I can think of much worse things to have your economy based on! He brings in a lot of money both nationally and locally, and he gives back to his community. It can’t be so bad to hook all our hopes and dreams on one person, can it? It’s not like he could leave us. Can he? No seriously, can he? 

Statement: We’re so retarded that we think this is art.

Verdict: Truth! I have never understood that stupid “FREE” statue, but it definitely the most famous piece of art in Cleveland. Fortunately, our art museum is actually pretty well-respected, so we are not completely uncultured….just a little confused maybe. 

Statement: At least we’re not Detroit!

Verdict: Truth! Hate to kick a city when their down, but I will always be glad that we aren’t Detroit. Oh well, they’ll always have the Red Wings, right Kyle? 

Well, I hope you’ve enjoyed are time together today, and I hope you learned a little something too. Cleveland isn’t so bad. Sure it has its share of poverty, crime, pollution, and of course, crippling depression. But 1 out of every 5.53 days, the sun comes out, and you forget all those things for a few fleeting moments, and think to yourself there’s at least 3 to 5 worse cities to live in.  I’m just playing, Cleveland, you know I love you.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Truths & Myths about Cleveland (Pt. 1)

Recently, a few “tourism” videos for Cleveland have found their way onto the Internet. For the most part, these videos poke fun of the city of Cleveland, and as a native Clevelander and fan/lover/apologist for my city, I naturally think….they are hilarious!!! Nonetheless, I thought I would take this opportunity to post both these videos for your watching enjoyment, and clear up which parts are funny because they are true, and which are funny because they are absolutely ridiculous! While I will tolerate my city being slandered for numerous deserved reasons, I will not stand idly by and watch it get ridiculed for made-up chicanery! Here is the first video, accompanied by some of the keys statements, and my interpretation of whether they are truth or myth. The second video and commentary will be posted in a few days.


Statement: Come and see both of our buildings.

Verdict: Truth! While there are numerous buildings in downtown Cleveland, only Key Tower (built in 1991) and the Terminal Tower (built in 1930) rise above 700 ft.

Statement: Buy some food that’s prepared by the street.

Verdict: Truth! While technically true, I don’t see how this is grounds for making fun of a city! The last few cities I have traveled to have many more street vendors than Cleveland, and who doesn’t enjoy the convenience and affordability of hot dog served on side of the road. 

Statement: Who knows you might even see this guy.

Verdict: Truth! That guy really does live in Cleveland! As do many other doo ragged, facial haired, blue collars types just like him!

Statement: W. 6th Street is the perfect place if you’re a douchebag.

Verdict: Unknown! I have never been to said street, but judging from the buildings they show, it seems like an area that could be home to frequent douchebaggery. Fortunately, Cleveland has one of the lowest douchbag populations per capita in the nation. Mostly because its too cold to wear tight Affliction t-shirts.

Statement: This train is carrying jobs out of Cleveland.

Verdict: Myth! While the loss of the steel industry hurt it, the city of Cleveland has worked hard to diversify its economy from strictly manufacturing and has experienced as recent boom in office real estate. Its largest employer is the Cleveland Clinic, a world renowned hospital, who recently replaced someone’s face! 

Statement: Cleveland leads the nation in drifters.

Verdict: Myth! We are actually between #4 and #8 in drifters, depending on who’s definition of “drifter” you use. 

Statement: Moses Cleveland invented Cleveland.

Verdict: True! General Cleaveland helped negotiate the rights to be able to survey the land where Cleveland now sits. While the Mohawk and Seneca Indians technically owned the land, they were appeased with gifts of simple beads and whiskey (and the slightly more complicated, beaded whiskey). Ironically, this is not where the Cleveland Indians get their name. The were named by the media, at the request of the owner, in reference to the Boston (now Atlanta) Braves.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Why You Should Watch (WYSW)...Real World/Road Rules Challenge

The return of the WYSW franchise brings us the only show that MTV has to offer that is worth watching. Which brings up another point: why does MTV have shows??? They apparently completely ditched music videos about 10 years from their main channel; MTV2 barely even plays them anymore, so how do they get away with calling themselves “Music TV”? Nonetheless, they did basically originate reality TV 17 years ago with “The Real World”, which inadvertently led to the show that is the center of this post. So for all of us who are hooked on such shows as “The Biggest Loser”, “Top Chef”, “The Cougar” (that’s for you Jeff, Happy Birthday buddy!), and “Rock of Love 16: Bret Turns 60 and Nails Chicks Who May Possibly Be His Granddaughters”, we thank you MTV! If this post gets you excited to watch this show, have no fear, the latest installment “RW/RR Challenge: The Duel” is on Wednesdays at 10. There have only been 4 episodes so far, so you can either read synopses online or wait for inevitable weekend marathon to see them all in order.

 

Ok, let’s start with the basic premise. These are former real worlders and road rulers who come back to compete in a variety of crazy games and head-to-head challenges to eliminate each other, in hopes of ultimately making it to the end to win large cash prizes. Some of the contestants (Mark, I’m looking at you) are from the days when you came on the reality show to be on the show and enjoy the experience, and possibly make some mall appearances. Nowadays, you go on a reality show to begin your career as a reality star. All of these people do numerous events and appearances and come on challenge after challenge. In all there have now been 17 Challenge seasons. Several people (according to Wikipedia) have been on 7 of them, including the craziest girls I can remember: Beth, Tonya, & Veronica (gee, can’t imagine why they keep inviting them back). These individuals have more or less turned their 15 minutes of fame into a career, and instead of making a living with real jobs continue to suck on the MTV teet. (Btw, if any of the contestants happen to read this for some reason, I’m a big fan, and would trade lives with you in a heartbeat J). All of this interaction leads to varying relationships of love and hate (mostly hate), and the drama typically ensues as one would expect. 

Next reason to watch: the lifestyles. I am never one to judge other people’s drinking or partying, but other than the challenge events, that appears to be all that happens in this house. As one can imagine, this leads to lots of fights, nudity, and hookups. More on the fights to come, but as far as the nudity and such, let’s just say I would pay good money to get my hands on the non-blurred tapes of the numerous seasons. For some reason, group showers and hot tub orgies seem to be more the norm than the exception. Come to think it, really wished I hadn’t spent all that time doing schoolwork and had got on this gravy train before it was too late. There have been two hookups so far this season (not counting Brad & Tori who are engaged), and the latest one involved two ladies, one openly out the closet, the other bi-curious. The cameras were not able to get footage (how do they miss that???), but they did pick up some interesting sounds, as did the cast members that were listening right outside the window. And so as to not sound chauvinistic and crass, there is ample male eye-candy as well, and the producers often put them in Speedos for the challenges just to make sure of this. 

Finally: the competition. It is fierce between cast members for two basic reasons a) unlike other reality shows, they all know each other and have alliances and dramas that go way back and b) as mentioned, most of them are broke and once you dangle 100 grand in front of them, they would basically stab their own mother in the back to get it. Then they would turn her around, stab her in the front, and spit in her face. While a few contestants stay above the fray, the rest maneuver, lie, backstab, align, and for some reason through it all, take every little slight as a personal attack (yes, I’m looking at you, Evan). How do you lie to everyone you can, and then act personally offended when someone comes after you? Many of these people, particularly the guys, have trained months for the show. A training that apparently will all be lost to the show as they just drink and party, and you never once see them workout, or if the big, beautiful house they live in even has a gym (as pointed out by the great Bill Simmons). 

As a final tease to get you to watch, consider the events of the very first day of shooting. There is a big party (shocking!) with lots of drinking (really?), and at some point accusations start getting thrown around. Adam, one of the smallest guy on the show, gets into it with CT, and actually shoves him a little (a no-no on MTV shows). Now CT is….I mean, I’m not gay or anything…but he’s like….fine, he’s carved out of friggin’ stone, and he has a huge temper to boot. So not my first choice to pick I fight with, and he proceeds to pummel Adam with punches, and while the other guys hold back CT (pretty unsuccessfully), he completely destroys a door in the process. After a few more chase attempts and decent shots to Adam’s head, both of them are sent packing before the challenge even starts! So there you go, what else could we have in store for us, if that’s the first 30 minutes? I can’t wait to find out!