The Show Has Almost Arrived…

Well, it took longer than I thought it would, but it looks like it will finally happen. On Wednesday, December 16^th, at Sidesplitters in Tampa, I will make my comedic debut at an open mic. It is only a 6 minute set, but it will be my first performance with an audience of more than 10. For those of you in Tampa, that is awesome news because you get to come out and see me, plus other young comics and Pretty Paul Parsons, for only $5! I need to have at least 4 fans come to be able to go on stage, so let me know if you are definitely going or planning on going. The show starts at 6:30pm, but I have to be signed in at 6pm, and if anyone wants to ride with me or meet at my place first, let me know. For those of you who want to attend, go to the link below, click on the Dec. 16^th Open Mic show, and buy tix. The promo code to get the $5 tickets is ‘DOMINOS’.

http://www.sidesplitterscomedy.com/calendar.asp

In honor of my first show, I decided to share some “Ruminations” with you that I have been posting the last few months. What are ruminations, you ask? They are short, funny observations (250 words or less), and there is website where people post them hosted by comedian Aaron Karo and inspired by his bi-weekly column. Some of you may have even got a chain email that had several of these ruminations (such as, why doesn’t Google have an ‘avoid ghetto’ feature?), although they were not appropriately labeled and credited to their true authors. You can find these and more at ruminations.com, if you are interested. So here are some of my posts to the site, some funnier than others. And don’t worry possible show-goers, I took out any punch lines that might be part of the set next week.

-When I see little kids running around like crazy at Target, I think their parents should rein those brats in. Of course, when I was a kid, I used to turn the clothes racks into my own little forts. But that's different...because my Mom was the best!

-When I was a kid, I couldn't figure out how libraries stayed in business.

-I saw a recent NBA injury report that listed a player being out with a "glute contusion"...that's the nicest way I've ever heard of to say "ass bruise".

-"Why does love always feel like a battlefield?" What a profound statement, Jordin Sparks. If only someone else had thought of that metaphor, oh, I don't know...25 years ago!

-The upper limit for cat ownership is 2. Anything over that, and you automatically become a crazy cat person.

-Shaving from a full beard to clean shaven should be a process that includes no less than 3 different ridiculous beard/mustache combinations.

-Do you suppose the Trojan Horse was anatomically correct? If not, they totally missed out, they could have fit 5-6 more soldiers in that thing.

-A friend just posted a Facebook status about what a great time he is having on his beach vacation. What happened to the days when a vacation actually meant getting away from technology and constant communication for awhile?

-I have a theory that once you get a neck tattoo, you have narrowed down your possible careers to NBA basketball player, rapper, or mechanic. On a positive note, I am much more confident in my mechanic's ability if he has a neck tattoo.

-Yesterday, I had to slam on my brakes, and I instinctively put my arm across the case of beer in the passenger seat to protect it as if it was my kid. I can't decide if this bodes well for my future children or not.