NFL Thoughts and a Very Special Bonus Item

Ok, so if you are one of my readers who really hates football, you have my permission to skip right to the bottom for a can't-miss unveiling. Otherwise, please enjoy this post in its entirety.

So I’m actually “borrowing” this idea from ESPN the Mag. They occasionally run a item called “If Larry King wrote for us…”. Well, this is my interpretation and version of “If Larry King wrote about football…”. Hope you enjoy my/his thoughts and analysis on the season so far.

College

If the national championship rests on one ACL, it’s the one sitting inside USC RB Joe McKnight’s right knee….Whenever anybody asks me who my favorite ginger QB is, I always answer Georgia’s Joe Cox…If Ohio State never played Top 10 teams, they would win the BCS title every year!...I’ve been saying it for years, the major conferences need to watch out for that pesky Sun Belt…I’m not prone to hyperbole, but Tate Forcier is the best freshman QB to play for any team, ever…On a related note, Golden Tate is the greatest name that has ever graced the pages of a media guide…For my money, nothing is better than listening to Baylor’s “Old Fite” after a big touchdown.

NFL

If Derrick Brooks can’t find his way onto an NFL roster, then I really have no chance…Say what you will about his past failures, A.J. Feeley can’t possibly turn the ball over as much as Jake Delhomme…The most impressive thing I saw in week 1 was Brandon Stokley’s incredible route running ability!...Adrian Peterson could have had a very successful career modeling underwear or bending steel beams, we should all feel grateful he chose football…Forget the quarterbacks, what is the NFL going to do to protect the linebackers in this league!...If I had to pick one team to win more games than last year, I’m taking the Detroit Lions...I wish, just once, Tom Brady would come through on a game winning drive!

Picks

This is what I get for deciding to publish my picks on the Internet. A fabulous 1-5 week to start! To save some face. I did go 3-7 overall, but I put those 6 picks up because they were my “most confident.” Here we go for take two, hopefully I will do better or this part of the column might die an early death.

Nebraska (+5) over Virginia Tech (Time for the Huskers to re-establish dominance)

Utah (+5) over Oregon (Mid majors continue to haunt the Ducks)

Texas (-17.5) over Texas Tech (Revenge blowout special!)

Atlanta (-6) over Carolina (I again lean on my only winning team from last week)

Pittsburgh (-3) over Chicago (Yes, I’ve sold my soul to get a win this week!)

Oakland (+3) over Kansas City (Upset special!)

Ok, on to the Special Bonus promised. This guy I know, Jim, has some bands, and we decided to put a whole act together of two bands and a comedian (me), now called the Time Theft Phenomenon. We are pitching to some bars, and while we don't have anything confirmed yet, we definitely have some interest. To do this, Jim put together a CD of his bands playing and recorded a couple of tracks of me doing some of the first jokes I've put together. Now that I have some stuff recorded, I can finally share it with all of you. The track was only audio (and the laugh track was added by Jim), but I put it to some pictures and it is up on YouTube. Let me know what you think! I have more audios, but I'm not just giving these away, you got to earn it!