The Barker

Ready for Some Browns Football?

2011-09-05T08:44:00.004-04:00

Hello Browns and Sports fans! As most of you know, I am an avid (and frequently disappointed) Cleveland Sports fan. Thus, I spend many of my free hours (and sometimes not so free hours) consuming any information I can about the teams, and this time of year that’s the Browns, NFL, and the preseason. Also, I think I am perfect person to give an accurate view of the upcoming season as I am simultaneously an optimist, a realist, and a cynic. Thus, here are my thoughts on the team for this year.

Applauding Progress…I am excited about the new coaching staff. I like the new offensive system, and I like the quick progress that Colt McCoy has made picking it up. I like that Holgrem and Heckert are building through the draft. That is the strategy of most teams that are successful for long periods of time, like the Steelers and the Colts. Meanwhile, the teams that make big splashes in free agency, such as the Redskins, continue to have up-and-down, and mostly down, results.

…While Tempering the Excitement. That being said, Colt is still a second year QB. He has no proven receivers, and even the ones with talent have flaws and lack break-away speed. The defense has some good young pieces, but there are plenty of holes and almost no depth. ESPN scouts did a list of the top 200 NFL players right now based on a summation of the ratings. The good news: Joe Thomas was #9 overall. The bad news: the next Brown came in at 171, which was Alex Mack. Peyton Hillis snuck into the 190s. With 32 teams, each team should average about 6 players on that list, with 3 being in the top 100. You just don’t make up that type of talent gap overnight in the NFL, no matter how well coached and disciplined you are.

Top Ten Browns Players

1. Joe Thomas – No contest. So glad they locked him up for the foreseeable future.

2. Alex Mack – I’m torn. The offensive line is extremely important, and plenty of teams need help at these two very important positions. On the other hand, you’d like one of your top 2 guys to be a skill player of some sort.

3. Joe Haden – You could put so many guys in this spot, but I think Haden showed a lot his first year and will be a Pro Bowler either this season or next.

4. Peyton Hillis – Absolutely love the way he plays. He’s a totally blue-collar guy, which is what Clevelanders gravitate towards. Unfortunately, that style also scares the crap out of me for a RB, as it leads to increased fumbles and injuries.

5. Josh Cribbs – Best special teams player in the league. Holds the record for most career kickoff TD returns. Returns punts well, and is the first to the ball on most kick coverage teams. Runs the Wildcat effectively when they call it. Oh, and he catches the occasional ball at WR too!

6. T.J. Ward – Probably not the best cover safety by any stretch of the imagination, but boy will he knock the crap out of you in open space. He’ll pay out a few fines in his career for it, but fun to watch. Still has room to grow and develop too.

7. Scott Fujita – You got to have a solid veteran like him on your team, and he’s consummate pro.

8. Colt McCoy – I hope I’m right here, and that he deserves this spot. Has lots of developing to still do, but the kid just seems like a winner to me. He finds ways to make plans and do what he has to do for his team. Has to prove he can play in bad weather though, because…you know…it’s Cleveland!

9. Phil Dawson – So glad they held on to him. One of the most underrated and consistent kickers in the league, especially consider the stadium/weather he kicks in for half his games (more than half if you consider Pit/Cin stadiums)!

10. Phil Taylor – Hope I’m right here as well. I think this kid is stud, and I’m glad the Browns took him while getting MORE draft picks out of it.

Honorable Mentions: Ben Watson (Another key veteran), Evan Moore (great when healthy), D’Qwell Jackson (having a great camp), Greg Little (someone has to step up at WR)

Prediction. I’ll do better than a prediction, I’ll point to the games that they will win, lose, and a few that are toss-ups. On the bright side, they have a very manageable schedule, especially early on. The bad part, 4 of the last 5 games are against Baltimore and Pittsburgh, and as I mentioned, I don’t think they are quite there to compete for the playoffs just yet in this division. Also, I don’t think people realize how big the losses of Eric Steinbach and Reggie Hodges for the year are.

Wins: Cin, Mia, Ten, Sea, @SF, Jax

Losses: Bal, @Bal, Pit, @Pit, @Hou

Tossups: @Ind (Wk 2, if Manning plays, move to loss), @Oak, StL, @Cin, @Ari

So, if they win two of those tossups (my money is on @Cin and either Oak or Ari), that’s an 8-8 season. But I’m guessing they lose one of the one’s I have under wins and aren’t able to make it up from the losses column, so I’m going to put my official prediction at 7-9. Hope for better, but it’s a step in the right direction and another year of development for the young guys.

3 For Your Ears, 3 For Your Eyes

2011-08-29T20:40:00.005-04:00

…Ok, your ears will be involved in watching the movies too, but you get the idea! Thought I would provide my reviews of 3 albums I recently got and liked, as well as 3 movies I’ve watched in the past week with mixed success. Maybe they will help you find something you like, avoid something you won’t, or just waste 10 minutes of your work day.

Music

1. Owl City – All Things Bright and Beautiful. When I first got this album, I thought it wasn’t as good as the past stuff by Owl City. But to be fair, that’s a tall order, and the number of semi-famous collaborators on this album (rapper Shawn Chrystopher, Matthew Thiessen from Relient K) lead me to believe he was forced in a slightly more commercial direction. But its grown on me as I’ve listened to it more, and there are still some really great tracks here. I particularly recommend “Deer In the Headlights”, “Dreams Don’t Turn to Dust”, and “Galaxies”.

2. Adele – 21. I try to avoid diving too far into Top 40 music, and I especially stay away from the latest female, bluesy flavor of the month (see past nominees Norah Jones and Amy Winehouse, may she rest in peace). Nonetheless, I took the plunge on this one, and it has been well worth it. Adele is supremely talented, and she didn’t have the popularity yet where she took herself too seriously on this album. In addition to “Rolling in the Deep”, which is what got her the attention in the first place, I really like “Rumor Has It” and “Set Fire to the Rain”. She also joins a long list of people to make a great cover of “Love Song”, although I still maintain that the 311 version is the best one!

3. O.A.R. – King. Great to see Of A Revolution getting back to their jam rock roots. I will make a quick shout out to the fact that I saw this Columbus, OH-based band back in my freshman year of college. I will also thank Melissa Lehman for pointing me to the fact that they had a new album coming out. The first single, “Heaven”, is not only a great song, but the lyrics are a perfect expression of my thoughts on the idea of heaven and people who want to say their worship-style is the only way to get there. “Gotta Be Wrong Sometimes” is another song that makes a great point, this time about settling arguments in a serious relationship. Also check out “Taking On the World Today” and “Are You Low?”. I also heard they play some song about poker...

Movies

1. Limitless (3 out of 5 stars) – I’m still not sure how I felt about this movie. The concept was interesting. It had a fair amount of action and psychological components, which I enjoy. But I’m still not sure about Bradley Cooper’s ability to carry a movie, and the whole thing seemed to end abruptly. In short, worth watching, but temper your expectations.

2. Insidious (3 stars) – The only reason this climbs to 3 stars is because I like horror movies, and this had enough scares and turns to keep me interested (at least on a Sunday morning when I was unmotivated to do anything productive). If you’re into horror, particularly the dimensional/demon stuff, like Paranormal Activity minus the shaking cam, then give it a watch. Otherwise, it’s your typical, relatively predictable horror flick. Side Note: I rarely finish watching a horror movie saying “that was a legitimately great movie”, not just a fun, random horror one. The last time that happened was “A Haunting in Connecticut”. So check that one out if you haven’t!

3. Ink (4 stars) – This a pretty artsy flick, with a lot of great visual imagery and scene-matching, so if that’s not your thing, I wouldn’t recommend it. But I found there were a lot of great little things going on this movie, several interesting and intersecting storylines, an imagination world with cool creatures, and dimensional travelers who “flashbulb” pop when they come across (one of my favorite things about the movie). I watched it on Hulu (not sure if its Plus or regular), and I know I saw it on Netflix Instant as well,

so perhaps a recommendation you might not have otherwise come across.

Sometime this week/weekend, I plan to get up my Browns preview. It likely won’t be as optimistic as some of you may hope, but there are some positive signs for once.

From OK to Great!

2011-08-13T19:02:00.005-04:00

As many of you know, I was an avid blog writer for a while. I decided to break from it about a year and a half ago, for various reasons, and I know many, many of you were extremely disappointed. And if you weren’t, just let me know have this one. Well, new town, new life, and why not, new blog. Except by new, I mean The Barker, the same blog I used to write. So no promises this time on how often I will post, or on what, or if it will even be funny (it will be hilarious!), but I’ll do my best. I hope you enjoy!

I thought I would start by giving you the highlights of my 22+ hours driving, 1300+ miles, spread out over 3 days drive from Tulsa, OK to Myrtle Beach, SC. Life on the road can interesting, or at least you have to make it interesting to avoid going completely insane.

-Stopped the first night in Nashville to visit my friend Amanda, which was about a 10-hour drive. Got to see a little of the city, including the outside of the football stadium (I always like seeing where teams played). Seems like a nice place to live, especially if you like country music (which I didn’t used to, but do now). Also had an interesting first. While we were having dinner on the patio of a local brewery, a beggar hit me up for money during our meal! I’m very sympathetic to people who are having a rough time, and try to help out when I can. But seriously!? Wait until I come out the door, bothering me mid-bite is not going to help your case.

-Turns out you take I-40 for almost all of the drive from OK to the Carolinas. This makes for a simple, albeit boring drive. However, when you go from TN to NC on that highway, you go through this beautiful (although winding) stretch that is in the valley between the Appalachian Mountains. There are even some tunnels cut through the rock that go through. Despite the temporary loss of XM, it was the definite highlight of the driving portion.

-On the 2^nd night, got to visit my good friends Greg and Xtina and hit up the Chapel Hill nightlife. We had a great time and sampled many a great brew (and a PBR or two). I had a lot of fun (despite my near comatose-ness from 18 hrs of driving), but I was left wondering why UNC people say Duke is so preppy. The places/people I saw there seemed pretty damn preppy to me! I guess that blind loyalty is what makes rivalries so awesome…Go Blue Devils!

-Greg and I walked most of the way back from the bar barefoot in the ra

in. Not as romantic as it sounds, but quite fun despite some minor injuries. I think we’ll both avoid the DL though.

-Quick music review (if you’re new to the blog, my thoughts on music are a common theme): I bought the new O.A.R. album, “King”, on iTunes before I left and absorbed it on the way. Overall, quite good, and sounds much more jam band and less poppy, so going back to their old “Crazy Game of Poker” roots. I highly recommend the first single “Heaven” (thanks Melissa for the tip), not only as a great tune, but as the lyrics describe my religious thoughts near perfectly. The other one I love (and I think is bound to be the 2^nd single) is “Gotta Be Wrong Sometimes”. Download now, thank later.

-To my pleasant surprise, the weather was mostly great on the drive. Towards the end of the first day, I hit a small rainstorm, and it was honestly the first time I’d seen rain in about a month! Lesson for those of you not from OK: Tulsa is hot and dry in the summer! However, on the last morning, I drove through a pretty big rainstorm, which including several traffic jams because of people who had gotten into accidents and/or skidded of the road. The more important lesson here: Drive safely, particularly in inclement weather.

You won’t save that much time if you crash, and you sure as hell better not slow me up!

-This sign is from a different time I drove through SC, but it's still funny. "That's what she said."

-To help pass the time, I decided to see how many different state license plates I could find on cars (trucks don’t count, since they drive all over and often have out of state plates anyway). I was surprised to find that I reached 33, plus D.C. and Ontario. I got the whole South and most of the Midwest, as well as a few random surprises (New Mexico, Vermont, Wisconsin). It was a fun game, and I probably got more obsessed with it than I should have, but you should have seen by 4 pm on Friday or Saturday. It was the alternative to zombie.

-I left OK at 9am on Thursday, I got to Myrtle Beach apartment at 3pm on Saturday. I got my key and signed the lease in a short amount of time. I checked out the place (its nice, I’ll have pictures up soon), and walked outside to unpack my car (particularly my air mattress and sheets to take a much needed nap). And it starts pouring! I mean really pouring. So I ended up having to wait another hour and a half to unpack and get settled. But all and all, a great trip considering all the driving and I’m happy and excited to be in SC! I’m sure there will be much more to come on that subject…

2009 in Review

2009-12-23T11:31:00.005-05:00

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Wonderful Kwanzaa, Jolly Saturnalia, and a Most Joyous Festivus to all of you! Let me start by thanking everyone for their feedback on the comedy debut, whether it be positive, honest, or the preferred choice, both! As mentioned, I really enjoyed doing it, and I am hoping to get up there again very soon. I am tentatively penciled in for Jan. 10, but my schedule is crazy in January, so I will let you know as soon as I do. Speaking of January, part of what will make that month so crazy is several job interviews and starting my last semester at USF. But before we can look forward, we have to look back. Thus, I've decided to review my 2009, putting it in simplest terms with little to no explanation, in an effort to make it much shorter and relatively funnier.

January: Who the hell remembers?!? It was 12 months ago!
February: Interviewed at Kennesaw State, Pick up guitar, Sprained my ankle playing soccer
March: Did not get job at Kennesaw State, resprained ankle by coming back too soon, March sucks
April: Met Abby
May: Several friends graduated from the program, Most move, Becca stayed
June: Summer begins, Cavs eliminated from Playoffs, Put down guitar, Greg and Xtina move, You bastards
July: Abby and I travel to Ohio, Ankle finally healthy enough to play soccer again, Indians eliminated from playoffs (basically), Decide to start writing jokes for eventual standup, Move in with Abby, Get first job offer at Middle Tennessee State
August: Turn down first job offer, Move out of apartment with Abby and into first own apartment, Browns eliminated from playoffs (might have well been), Start teaching research methods
September: Travel to Ohio, One of best friends weds my former girlfriend, Many jokes are written
October: I turn 28, Son of a Bitch, I sprain ankle again, Son of a Bitch, Interview with Hastings and Angelo State, Get eliminated from said job openings, Son of a Bitch!
November: Go to Puerto Rico for conference, Interview with Creighton
December: Interview with Fairleigh Dickinson, Prep for future interviews with Central Michigan and Houston-Clear Lake, Do first Open-Mic, Hilarity Ensues

Making with the Funny

2009-12-18T10:05:00.006-05:00

By popular demand, here is the video of my comedic debut. The first joke gets cut off just a bit and you may have to turn it up to make sure you can hear, but overall, its good quality for a camera phone in the last row. Personally, I think the set hits it stride about midway, but I'll let you be the judge. I put the URL at the bottom in case you want to watch it directly on YouTube or send it to other people, let's take this thing viral! Oh, and Debbie and Derek, you know I love, but the wedding was self-admittedly a funny and awkward situation, how could I not put it in my act! Nothing but love for you both. :) I hope everyone enjoys it, and if you don't, give me a break, it was my first try!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLY8NFVTQok

That was Pretty F-ing Sweet!

2009-12-17T16:29:00.003-05:00

So last night was my first attempt at standup comedy in front of a real audience (see picture of me, standing up, in front of other people, hereafter labeled “the audience”). I would say there were about 70 people in the crowd when I went up, my set end up being about 5 minutes long, and without sounding too cocky, considering it was my first time, I killed it! Here is a short reason list of reasons of why I loved every minute of last night:

1) I finally really got up there and did it. I got that first performance monkey off of my back. Considering I announced that I was going to start doing standup comedy on June 23^rd (see blog archive…I can’t believe it was that long ago, I thought for sure it was like in September!), I am glad I waited this long. I really did the necessary prep work, worked on my material and delivery, and was really ready when the time came. I got a lot of feedback and ideas from a lot of people during that time, and I thank everyone who had a hand in this with all of my heart!

2) Despite being nervous and excited (who wouldn’t be?), I was poised and had a strong, steady voice while I was up there. I hit almost all the punchlines I wanted to, didn’t forget anything, and didn’t have any major pauses, verbal or otherwise.

3) Despite having at least 10 other people from the area who wanted to come but could not, I had 20 people show up to support me. My friends freaking rock! Most of the other performers only had the requisite 4 people needed to take the stage.

4) People laughed. Seems like a small thing, but considering the goal of anyone who gets up there is to entertain people, you don’t know how good it feels to have an audience really feeling what you are throwing out there. And those that were there know that some of the other performers were not as lucky…we had a couple of real tank jobs up there.

5) Several of other open-mic performers, the MC, and the open mic director all told me I did a great job.

6) The headliner of the night, Pretty Pauly Parsons, a vulgar and mostly hilarious old man who was performing in the main dining room later in the night, came up to me immediately after I got off the stage and said, and I quote, “Great mothaf*$#ing set, man. Seriously.”

7) The MC, who you could tell was funny but was not having the best night in terms of generating laughs, came up to introduce the next performer, and said, “What's up? My name is Joe Mazzola…what? I got to take laughs anyway I can get them!”

8) Last, but certainly not least, I was one of the two people chosen by audience applause to make it to the Opportunity Knox round for an opportunity to win a trip to Knoxville for the Sidesplitters final. Now, a couple things about that. First, I can’t even perform in the show I qualified for because it’s the 26^th of this month, and I will be in Ohio. But the manager seemed genuinely disappointed that I couldn’t make it, and he said there were some other events coming up, and they would try to get me back soon to do a set. Second, I realize I won in part because I brought 20 people. J But I really was one of the better sets of the night, and plenty of people other than just my friends were cheering for me when the voting was going on. This was also evident when I told the other lady who won that I couldn’t make the next show it but wished her good luck. She turns to me, and says, “I wish I could say I’m sorry to hear that, but I’m really glad you won’t be there.”

As a final note, I can’t describe the rush it was being up there. I’ve always thought of teaching as a type of performance as well, and it definitely gives me a natural high, but doing comedy was like that times 10. For those of you worried, no, I am not going to quit my day job (I still love teaching and academia, and in fact, I should have a job interviews' update posted in the next week or so). But it is nice to know that I have a little (probably very little) talent in stand-up. I can see this as a real hobby for me, and possibly as a way to make a little (probably very little) extra money on the side some day.

Alright, for those that were hoping for a video of the performance. I promise I will have that up here tomorrow for sure. I think I have tracked down a video of the actual performance, and I am waiting to get that and make sure it can actually be heard. If it works, I will post that tomorrow. If not, I will post the practice I did in front of my computer before the show, but fingers crossed for the real thing!

The Show Has Almost Arrived…

2009-12-07T10:26:00.003-05:00

Well, it took longer than I thought it would, but it looks like it will finally happen. On Wednesday, December 16^th, at Sidesplitters in Tampa, I will make my comedic debut at an open mic. It is only a 6 minute set, but it will be my first performance with an audience of more than 10. For those of you in Tampa, that is awesome news because you get to come out and see me, plus other young comics and Pretty Paul Parsons, for only $5! I need to have at least 4 fans come to be able to go on stage, so let me know if you are definitely going or planning on going. The show starts at 6:30pm, but I have to be signed in at 6pm, and if anyone wants to ride with me or meet at my place first, let me know. For those of you who want to attend, go to the link below, click on the Dec. 16^th Open Mic show, and buy tix. The promo code to get the $5 tickets is ‘DOMINOS’.

http://www.sidesplitterscomedy.com/calendar.asp

In honor of my first show, I decided to share some “Ruminations” with you that I have been posting the last few months. What are ruminations, you ask? They are short, funny observations (250 words or less), and there is website where people post them hosted by comedian Aaron Karo and inspired by his bi-weekly column. Some of you may have even got a chain email that had several of these ruminations (such as, why doesn’t Google have an ‘avoid ghetto’ feature?), although they were not appropriately labeled and credited to their true authors. You can find these and more at ruminations.com, if you are interested. So here are some of my posts to the site, some funnier than others. And don’t worry possible show-goers, I took out any punch lines that might be part of the set next week.

-When I see little kids running around like crazy at Target, I think their parents should rein those brats in. Of course, when I was a kid, I used to turn the clothes racks into my own little forts. But that's different...because my Mom was the best!

-When I was a kid, I couldn't figure out how libraries stayed in business.

-I saw a recent NBA injury report that listed a player being out with a "glute contusion"...that's the nicest way I've ever heard of to say "ass bruise".

-"Why does love always feel like a battlefield?" What a profound statement, Jordin Sparks. If only someone else had thought of that metaphor, oh, I don't know...25 years ago!

-The upper limit for cat ownership is 2. Anything over that, and you automatically become a crazy cat person.

-Shaving from a full beard to clean shaven should be a process that includes no less than 3 different ridiculous beard/mustache combinations.

-Do you suppose the Trojan Horse was anatomically correct? If not, they totally missed out, they could have fit 5-6 more soldiers in that thing.

-A friend just posted a Facebook status about what a great time he is having on his beach vacation. What happened to the days when a vacation actually meant getting away from technology and constant communication for awhile?

-I have a theory that once you get a neck tattoo, you have narrowed down your possible careers to NBA basketball player, rapper, or mechanic. On a positive note, I am much more confident in my mechanic's ability if he has a neck tattoo.

-Yesterday, I had to slam on my brakes, and I instinctively put my arm across the case of beer in the passenger seat to protect it as if it was my kid. I can't decide if this bodes well for my future children or not.

Ridiculous Music for Your Listen Pleasure?

2009-11-28T17:36:00.002-05:00

I made this CD a while back, but I figured I would make it public and give you all a chance to judge and mock me (as well as possibly download these songs and enjoy their ridiculousness). There are 4 basic rules to make it onto this CD: a) the song has to be ridiculous, I think this is self-explanatory, and if you know any of these songs, you know what I am talking about, b) only one song per artist, c) the artist was serious when they wrote the song…yes, many Tenacious D songs are ridiculous, but Jack Black meant them to be that way, so they don’t count!, and d) at some level or in some particular mood, I enjoy the song, I realize that probably none of these songs are musically good, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a time or place when they can be enjoyed. That’s it, hope you enjoy and agree. Also, this is not a ranking of the songs, just all the songs that made the cut to be on this playlist, and the particular order I decided to put them in for listening purposes.

1. Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up: White dude, deep voice, trench coat…how can you go wrong?!?! Special shout out to Greg, Xtina, and Rossi for this song’s involvement in one of the craziest nights/mornings we have ever known!

2. Billy Ocean - Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car: Sure, could have gone with ‘When the Going Get Tough’, but this song is just more fun.

3. Night Ranger – Don’t Tell Me You Love Me: That’s right, the OTHER Night Ranger song!

4. Starship – Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now: That’s right, the OTHER Starship song.

5. Styx – Mr. Roboto – “Domo Arigoto, Mr. Roboto”

6. Toto – Africa: Forget being ridiculous and good, this song is just downright good! It has strangely survived the passage of time…and I have no idea how or why.

7. Paperboy – Ditty: A classic 90s “rap” song, which makes me long for the days when rap had a real beat, true rhymes, and quality lyrics, and didn’t just yell “ho”, “bitch”, and “yeah” for 3 and a half minutes.

8. Bel Biv Devoe – Poison: This song invokes very vivid memories of grade school “skating parties”. If you don’t know what one of those is, I am sad for you and whatever sad town you grew up in.

9. Color Me Badd – I Wanna Sex You Up: Another 90s classic.

10. Corey Hart – I Wear My Sunglasses at Night: Now forever associated with “My New Haircut”, but nonetheless, makes me smile whenever I hear it.

11. Poison – Cry Tough: There had to be a Bret Michaels song on here somewhere, this one is about as ridiculous as it gets.

12. Richie Sambora – Rosie: Who you might ask? This is the guitarist from Bon Jovi during his brief, and not very illustrious, solo career.

13. Steve Perry – Oh Sherrie: “Steeeevveee Perry!..Dude, I said no more Journey psycho-outs!” Speaking of random solo careers, the lead singer of Journey really belts out his only “hit”.

14. Mr. Mister – Broken Wings: “What? I can’t flex the golden pipes? It’s inspirational.” “This isn’t the venue.”

15. Cutting Crew – (I Just) Died In Your Arms Tonight: “…it must have been something you said, I just died in your arms tonight!” Oh yeah!

16. TQ – Westside: This is about as sappy a tribute to 90s gangsta rap as you could possibly imagine.

17. Gerard McCann – Cry Little Sister: A ridiculous song in its own right, but also the theme song for one of the most ridiculous movies of all time: Lost Boys. (You may be asking yourself, is that the Corey's I see below, looking all sexy and awesome [and relatively not coked-out] in all of their 80's glory?!?! You're goddamn right it is!)

18. Wham –Last Christmas: I love this song, and I listen to it year round. I don’t care who knows it!

19. Foreigner – I Want To Know What Love Is: “…I want you to show me!”

20. Air Supply – Making Love Out of Nothing At All: If you’ve heard this song, you know why.

21. Barry Manilow – Ready to Take a Chance Again: “So if you want to be with him, you get back on that phone and you call Barry Manilow, and you tell him how you feel!”

Dorm Daze

2009-11-17T14:18:00.003-05:00

The other day I was jogging through campus, and I had a nostalgic moment I never thought I would have. I was looking at the dorm rooms, and I realized I would never live in that environment again. Here I am, finally living in my own apartment (which I still love!), about to really set out on my own, and I am reminiscing about being cramped into a 10’ x 6’ room with another person?!? But if you really think about it, they were simpler times. You had to worry about getting grades, getting alcohol, getting chicks (or dudes, depending on your sex and persuasion), and occasionally getting sleep. That was it! I could list the things most of us have to worry about these days, but it would push all of the posts below this one off of the page and into the archives! So, as a tribute to dorm living, here are the best parts that I remember (and trust me, at this point, I just barely remember them) from living in a college dorm. For the sake of nostalgia, we will only be mentioning the fun parts of dorm living, and completely ignoring the tedious, annoying, and sometimes horrific parts of it. If you’d like, please add your own glorious memories in the comments section!

-When you were hungry, you didn’t go to the grocery store or have to figure out what to cook, you walked to the nearest dining hall and likely ordered something fried. Often times it was in your very own dorm!

-If you were really hungry, you microwaved some Easy Mac or Ramen Noodles. Vitamins and actual Nutritional Content be damned!

-Girls who didn’t eat enough to use up the entire minimum meal plan. They would be left with $200 at the end of the semester that had to be spent on food, and they would take you to buy a year's supply of Gatorade, Protein Bars, and Moon Pies…ok, maybe not Moon Pies, no one actually eats those.

-Coed dorms. ‘Nuff said.

-Ok, not ‘nuff said. The occasional sight of a girl in a towel walking from the bathroom to her room. Call me a perv if you want, but if you were a guy, you looked, and you enjoyed it too. And if you were girl, you know a part of you liked that we were looking. I don’t remember there being any rule against bringing your clothes or pajamas into the bathroom to change into afterwards, but I could be mistaken. (Completely unnecessary and gratuitous picture of cute girl in towel directly below.)

-Shower shoes…don’t know why, just miss them.

-The walk of shame. If you didn’t make at least one of these, you didn’t really attend college, despite what your diploma might say.

-Being able to walk down the hall to the common area, courtyard, wherever and find a conversation, a game of euchre, or whatever.

-The recruiting and organizing of a volleyball/football/drinking game was the matter of maybe 5 minutes.

-Being 5 feet away from one of your best friends, even he was messy, annoying, and typically slept with a noisy knee-mover contraption because he couldn’t seem to stop blowing out his ACL (you know who you are).

-Typing AIM (can’t believe we used ever used that antiquated technology) messages to said roommate when he was directly behind me and talking for 2 hours before going to sleep because we had the same wacky and random sense of humor and, as previously mentioned, sleep was a luxury, not a necessity.

-The male equivalent to an air freshener: Window open, fan pointed in, drier sheet on the back of the fan.

-Setting up your room to maximize that 10’ x 6’ space. I typically took control of this, and I think I was actually pretty damn good at it.

-Playing “how many beers can fit in a mini-fridge”…our record was 150, it looked like a Dr. Dre video in there!

-Drinking as much as you could before going to the bars because we did not have the legal ability and/or financial means to purchase any alcohol at the bar.

-College! I love teaching class, and I know its easy to be nostalgic about tests and lectures now that I am on the other side. But trust me, its easier to take a test than to write a fair one, not to mention making sure that you effectively teach everything that is going to be on it.

You Know What Really Grinds My Gears...

2009-11-11T17:18:00.003-05:00

With apologies to the episode of Family Guy that I borrowed this from, as well as both Mark Barlow and Andy Rooney, whom they stole the concept from in the first place, I thought it would be fun to vent some random (and hopefully funny) people, places, and things that annoy me. If you personally do or are responsible for anything that shows up on this list, cut it the f*ck out!

1. People who wear sandals/flip-flops to the gym. Seriously, how much can you really accomplish anything with something other than tennis shoes. I usually spend much of the time they are there hoping that they severely twist an ankle or drop a heavy weight on their foot.

2. People who wear any/way to much cologne/perfume to the gym. Who are you trying to impress? It’s a gym! If you are doing it correctly (which would lead to you looking and feeling better, and then being able to impress people when it might matter), you are going to be sweaty and stink. Sorry, it’s the nature of a good workout. Meanwhile, I have to spend my entire workout trying to hold my breath, kind of hard to do when you are working out hard.

3. Female stand-up comedians. I’m sorry, but with very limited exceptions, they are not very funny. I have no explanation for this phenomenon. (FYI, the person pictured below is NOT one of those exceptions).

4. Poorly timed traffic lights. If you want me to follow traffic laws, you need to create a left turn arrow at a busy intersection that allows more than 2 cars to go through legally!

5. Camera-enforced lights. While we are on the subject, if I try to sneak through a red light, and a cop has been sitting there, and I get tagged, I’m alright with that. Kudos to him, he won a most excellent game of hide-n-seek. However, if I am able to make it through said intersection, and no such officer is there to immediately punish me, there is no way in hell they should have the right to cowardly send me a ticket several weeks later.

6. The general lack of turn signals used these days. When did common courtesy and safety go out of style? I didn’t get that memo. Apparently nowadays, you can just go ahead and start a slow turn in front of me, and its my responsibility to determine that this is what you are doing before we collide, and you sue me for whiplash that didn’t actually occur.

7. Shady ambulance chasing lawyers. I saw a commercial the other day where a lawyer says “just because you didn’t report an injury at the scene, doesn’t mean you can’t get the compensation you deserve.” Translation: “Just because you weren’t shady enough to make up an injury right after your accident, its not too late to swindle someone out of their hard earned money!”

8. People who take more than their allotted amount of seat or armrest on a plane. When I pay for a seat, I am entitled to at least one armrest and all the hypothetical space in front of and above my seat. Which means there is no reason your elbows should be 3 inches past what I am graciously calling your armrest.

9. The BCS system. If I was TCU, I would be pissed that I might go undefeated against a solid schedule and have absolutely zero chance of making the national championship. If I was Boise State, I would be pissed that I could go undefeated and not even make a BCS bowl, especially after beating Oklahoma the only time they were granted such a “privildege’!

10. People who don’t agree with me on these issues! I stayed with pretty safe subjects this time around; just wait until next time I pull out this theme! J

Top 15 Long Songs

2009-11-04T12:58:00.001-05:00

So I really am trying to post more, but I have been busy as hell! One of the things I have been busy with is preparing for a conference in Puerto Rico, and I will be leaving for said conference very very early Thursday morning. This is actually one of the busiest conferences I’ve ever had (of course that happens when its in PR!), but rest assured I will find some time to enjoy the weather, area, and the country. But, nonetheless, I owe all of you a good post, and I’ve been working on this post of the best 15 long songs for awhile. I am qualifying long as being at least 7:25 long, as the iTunes flies, and should not have a shorter, more popular version available. Enjoy! J

15. Cartel – A (9:45): From Cartel’s amazing CD, “Chroma”. It is kind of mash-up of all the songs on the album, so if you don’t want to listen to the whole album (which you should!), you could just listen to this.

14. Crazy Game of Poker – O.A.R. (8:43): A pretty good and entertaining song, that has special meaning because O.A.R. is from Ohio, and they were just getting known locally when I was a freshman in college. This song was also a popular party song in Bowling Green, leading to my friends and I to laugh and look down on the underclassmen when were seniors, “Look at them, they think this song just came out!”

13. Lynyrd Skynyrd – Free Bird (9:11): Besides being an incredible song that is both critically and popularly loved, it is played during a pivotal scene in “Forrest Gump”, definitely a top 50 movie.

12. Don McLean – American Pie (8:32): Not even necessarily one of my favorite song, and definitely not my favorite Don McLean song. But it has great lyrics, and who hear hasn’t sung this song while drunk with like 15 other people.

11. Oasis – D’you Know What I Mean (7:43): A very underappreciated song by Oasis because it was on the album after “What’s the Story, Morning Glory?”. Nonetheless, great song, and not a second wasted throughout the 7+ minutes.

10. Tool – Lateralus (9:24): There were less Tool songs to choose from than I thought (my favorites tended to be in the 5-6 minutes range). That doesn’t make this song any less deserving, as it is one of their best will never cease to pump me up and mess with my head (as do most Tool songs)

9. Metallica – One (7:25): A classic, and the shortest song on the list. Thought about getting rid of it just to make the requirement higher, but just couldn’t do it. Too classic, too awesome, and has probably one of the best guitar solos ever (which was the bane of my existence when I played Guitar Hero!)

8. Something Corporate – Konstantine (9:36): Great lyrics for the entire 9+ minutes; it reads more like a poem than a song. “This is because I can spell confusion with a ‘k’ and I can like it.” “And I was thinkin’, what I was thinkin’, we’ve been drinking and it doesn’t get me anywhere.”

7. Bob Dylan – Hurricane (8:32): I love songs that tell a story, and special bonus for telling the story of one of the great racial injustices of our time.

6. Oasis – Champagne Supernova (7:28): I didn’t realize how long Oasis’s songs were until I did this! What can say about Champagne Supernova except that it is an absolute classic…especially for us 90’s brats. So where were you while we getting high?

5. Guns N’ Roses – November Rain (8:57): Should it not make the list because its really two great songs in one, or should it be more exalted for having two separate but both amazing intertwined sections. I go with the latter, and not much gets as excited musically then when that rhythms switches to the 2^nd half.

4. Pink Floyd – Us & Them (7:50): Again, surprised to not find more Pink Floyd songs on the list, but I think it just seems that all their songs are long because their albums all flow into one coherent song. This is one of my favorites, off a nostalgic album for me (Dark Side of the Moon), which always brings back great memories and one funny but bad one.

3. Green Day – Jesus of Suburbia/City of the Damned (9:08): A testament to the fact that not only is the rock opera not dead, but that Green Day can do it as well as anyone! “I read the graffiti in the bathroom stalls, like the holy scripture of the shopping malls.”

2. Led Zeppelin – Stairway to Heaven (8:02): Really not a whole lot I can say here, simply one of the best songs of all-time, and is slowly chipping away at “Going to California” as my favorite Led Zeppelin song. Pretty sure I could listen to song on loop for a few hours and enjoy every minute of it.

1. Relient K - Deathbed (11:05): I have already extolled the virtues of this song. Somehow, it is fun, depressing, profound, and nonsensical, all at the same time. And if you are into Christianity, its got the extra bonus of being about God! In this song, it’s even a nice touch for us heathens. I could put up all the lyrics, its that good, but I’ll use this gem: “By ‘47, I was 14. I developed a taste for liquor and nicotine. I smoked until I threw up, yet I still l lit them up for 30 more years, like a machine. So right there you have it, that one filthy habit, is what got me where I am today.”

Eight Things From the Last Month

2009-10-23T11:09:00.003-04:00

s I’ve been told and you may have noticed, I have not posted a blog entry in quite some time. I have been pretty busy (more on that to come), but I will not let this blog go the way of so many of my others so I will fight through and make sure I post periodically. Look for a NBA preview and a music related post in the semi-near future. In the meantime, here are 8 things you may have missed in my life, TV, sports, and the world in general, in no particular.

1. The Browns are terrible. – I know, shocking, right? They are really bad, and I am unsure if they are even heading in the right direction. They have no quarterback, very few playmakers, and the few exciting players (i.e. D’qwell Jackson, James Davis) are already out for the season. To make matters worse, they won’t pay Josh Cribbs, the only guy on the whole roster with explosiveness and the ability to make plays happen. On the bright side, at least they squeezed an ugly win out of Buffalo so we can’t match the Lions ineptitude from last year.

2. Real World/Road Rules Challenge is back. – I have previously extolled the virtues of RR/RW Challenge in this space. This season is even better, starting off with the love pentagon: Wes’s ex-fiancé, Johanna, got with Kenny on the last challenge, while Wes is now with Kelly-Anne, who briefly dated Cohutta, who is also on the current challenge as well. Meanwhile, Tonya is her usual train wreck self, to the point that I think MTV is morally irresponsible for putting on these shows, basically encouraging her to drink and spiral out of control. Of course, it brings in the viewers, including myself, so I guess decency be damned.

3. A Totally Awesome Birthday Party – Had a bunch of friends come out for my 28^th birthday celebration to one of my favorite bars, O’Brien’s. I think in all, about 35+ people came and went, to the point that the bartenders asked who we were and why everyone seemed to know each other. Some laughed, some cried, some hurled…everything I would expect from my friends to make it a fantastic night. I can’t think of a better way to spend what is likely my last Tampa b-day, and thanks to everyone who made me feel so loved that day.

4. Job Search – Speaking of leaving Tampa, the job search is in full swing. I have about 15 applications out, and I will probably send out 10-15 more next month. There have been more ads to come out then I expected, so that is a good thing. This is one of activities that is keeping me busy, but it’s obviously worth it. No real news on getting any interviews or callbacks, but that should be coming soon. I will keep everyone posted.

5. Funny TV Shows – Finally caught up to current episodes of How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory is better than ever, and 30 Rock just started back up. I’ve come to realize there are very few good comedy shows on TV right now, but the ones that are good, are really, really good.

6. Cavs’ Season Starts in 4 Days – With Browns sucking and the Indians’ season basically ending in June, I am excited to watch a good (possibly great) Cleveland team play for a change. Not sure how long it will take me to get used to Shaq in wine and gold, but hopefully it won’t be long. More on this in my soon-to-come NBA preview.

7. Teaching Research Methods – Another responsibility that has kept me quite busy. As previously mentioned, this class has been more work than I anticipated. Looking back with the class over half over, I feel like I did a surprisingly good job for my first time teaching the class (we will see if the evaluations bear this out, or if they are full of inappropriate advances). Nonetheless, I also see a lot places I can improve it next time, and I look forward to getting that chance next semester or in my future job.

8. fun. – I haven’t been able to acquire a lot of music lately, and I will have some fuller music posts soon, but if you are a fan of music, you should really check out the band “fun.”. The lead singer is the former singer of The Format, one my favorite underappreciated bands. They have a very unique and fun sound that, despite being somewhat indie/emo, has mass appeal.

That’s it for now, y’all. Hope to start posting more often soon, but time will tell as I still have teaching, job apps, dissertation, and a conference to prepare for. Have a great weekend, and go Cavs!

YouTube Video of the Day...Plus Picks!

2009-09-26T10:33:00.003-04:00

If you haven't seen this video yet, its pretty damn funny.

Also wanted to get my picks up so I could at least keep that going for now. Did better last week, going 3-3. Maybe I won't be completely embarrassed by doing this after all...then again...

Miami (-2) over Virginia Tech (Alright, I'm on the UM bandwagon, they will abruptly implode)

Houston (-1) over Texas Tech (If this doesn't happen, Okla. St. was highly overrated)

California (-5.5) over Oregon (Jahvid Best is an absolute beast)

Atlanta (+4.5) over New England (Been riding the Falcons for a few weeks now)

Indianapolis (+2.5) over Arizona (Colts continue to find ways to win)

Detroit (+6) over Washington (Upset special! Lions break 19 game losing streak!)

NFL Thoughts and a Very Special Bonus Item

2009-09-18T12:06:00.002-04:00

Ok, so if you are one of my readers who really hates football, you have my permission to skip right to the bottom for a can't-miss unveiling. Otherwise, please enjoy this post in its entirety.

So I’m actually “borrowing” this idea from ESPN the Mag. They occasionally run a item called “If Larry King wrote for us…”. Well, this is my interpretation and version of “If Larry King wrote about football…”. Hope you enjoy my/his thoughts and analysis on the season so far.

College

If the national championship rests on one ACL, it’s the one sitting inside USC RB Joe McKnight’s right knee….Whenever anybody asks me who my favorite ginger QB is, I always answer Georgia’s Joe Cox…If Ohio State never played Top 10 teams, they would win the BCS title every year!...I’ve been saying it for years, the major conferences need to watch out for that pesky Sun Belt…I’m not prone to hyperbole, but Tate Forcier is the best freshman QB to play for any team, ever…On a related note, Golden Tate is the greatest name that has ever graced the pages of a media guide…For my money, nothing is better than listening to Baylor’s “Old Fite” after a big touchdown.

NFL

If Derrick Brooks can’t find his way onto an NFL roster, then I really have no chance…Say what you will about his past failures, A.J. Feeley can’t possibly turn the ball over as much as Jake Delhomme…The most impressive thing I saw in week 1 was Brandon Stokley’s incredible route running ability!...Adrian Peterson could have had a very successful career modeling underwear or bending steel beams, we should all feel grateful he chose football…Forget the quarterbacks, what is the NFL going to do to protect the linebackers in this league!...If I had to pick one team to win more games than last year, I’m taking the Detroit Lions...I wish, just once, Tom Brady would come through on a game winning drive!

Picks

This is what I get for deciding to publish my picks on the Internet. A fabulous 1-5 week to start! To save some face. I did go 3-7 overall, but I put those 6 picks up because they were my “most confident.” Here we go for take two, hopefully I will do better or this part of the column might die an early death.

Nebraska (+5) over Virginia Tech (Time for the Huskers to re-establish dominance)

Utah (+5) over Oregon (Mid majors continue to haunt the Ducks)

Texas (-17.5) over Texas Tech (Revenge blowout special!)

Atlanta (-6) over Carolina (I again lean on my only winning team from last week)

Pittsburgh (-3) over Chicago (Yes, I’ve sold my soul to get a win this week!)

Oakland (+3) over Kansas City (Upset special!)

Ok, on to the Special Bonus promised. This guy I know, Jim, has some bands, and we decided to put a whole act together of two bands and a comedian (me), now called the Time Theft Phenomenon. We are pitching to some bars, and while we don't have anything confirmed yet, we definitely have some interest. To do this, Jim put together a CD of his bands playing and recorded a couple of tracks of me doing some of the first jokes I've put together. Now that I have some stuff recorded, I can finally share it with all of you. The track was only audio (and the laugh track was added by Jim), but I put it to some pictures and it is up on YouTube. Let me know what you think! I have more audios, but I'm not just giving these away, you got to earn it!

Breaking Up, Moving (On), & Starting a New Semester (Pt. 2)

2009-09-16T17:08:00.003-04:00

Ok, welcome back to my life! I’ll get back to the sports and quirky posts soon, but as promised, here is part two of what has been going on with me lately.

So the new semester has started, and I am finally back to teaching my own class. It’s hard to believe its been 2 years since I’ve done so, but I find I’ve stepped back into it without much trouble at all. The material (research methods and design) is a little dry, but I spice it up as much as I can, add in some of my humor where possible, and the students seem to be engaged for the most part. Since I’ve never taught this full class before, it has taken me a fair amount of time to prep the classes and assignments, and the supervision portion of prepping the lab materials for TAs is more work than I anticipate (got a great group though, much love for any of my TAs reading this!). Bottom line, its great to be teaching again, and as much work and time as it takes, it feels like home to be in front of a classroom again. Can’t wait to do it for a real salary next year!

On that note, it is time for job applications again. Thus, on top of all this teaching, I am trying to finish up a couple of research projects and papers (so much fun!) to improve the resume and will soon be sending out a new batch of job applications. The market seems a little more open than last year (fingers crossed), and with another projects and service under my belt, I am hopefully an even more attractive applicant. I already sent out 2 apps to business schools with early deadlines (Cleveland St. & Illinois St.), and another group will be going out in the next 2-3 weeks. I will not bore you with every detail of what happens during this process, but I promise to keep everyone up-to-date on the big happenings. For those of you curious/worried about where I might be living next year, here are some of the upcoming openings I am most excited for, in no particular order: Univ. of Auburn (AL), Middle Tennessee State Univ. (tenure-track this time), University of Houston-Clear Lake, Texas State Univ.-San Marcos, Indiana University-Purdue University-Indianapolis, Butler University (IN), and Towson University (MD). I also recently heard that Bowling Green is hiring a junior faculty this year, but I have not seen the official advertisement yet. Keep your fingers crossed for me. USF and grad school have been amazing, but I think its about time I graduate and get a J.O.B.

As an addendum to the last post, I realized something the other day. I've always said I'm very laidback person, and I really don't let things bother me. Part of me has always thought it is because I have been very fortunate in life, and part of why I am usually happy and upbeat is because my life is pretty darn good and always has been. And that is most certainly true. But maybe its time to finally stop looking at my life as lucky. A good friend recently reminded me that you make your own luck in life (and I truly believe he is starting to find his luck and am super happy for him). The recent events of my life haven't been perfect. I had to make possibly the toughest decision of my life in deciding against taking a pretty good job, went through a tough break-up, had to move into 2 apts in the span of 5 weeks, and have been extremely bogged down with a very large amount of work, just to name the big stuff. At one point, I stepped back and actually had the thought that all of this would have floored some people, and caused major distress for many others. But I never let it get me down because I know good stuff is just around the corner, and I just need to make it happen. It's just the way I've always been. As one of my favorite quotes says (from one Mr. Van Wilder): "Don't take life too seriously, you'll never make it out alive." And I don't say all this to make myself look good or gloat or anything like that. I just felt I needed to say it outloud because someone recently tried to tell me that part of being an adult is not being able to just "go with the flow."But I don't think that's true...I think being an adult is planning what you can, dealing with things when they come up, and living with the decisions you make. "Isn't that what makes a man, Mr. Lebowski?" "Sure, that a pair of testicles."

I think that will do for now. Enough of the boring, dry stuff, I am going to post some more football picks/analysis on Friday if I have the time (which I won’t, but I’ll need a study break anyway). And if I can get the website I’m working on going the way I want, that post should include something fun as well.

2009 NFL Preview Extravagance

2009-09-10T17:26:00.003-04:00

It’s that time again! In just a few hours, the new NFL season will begin, and it can’t come soon enough. I could probably write pages upon pages about the NFL or football in general, and I hopefully will throughout the fall/winter, but for the sake of brevity. I will give a quick preview of each division, predict a winner, give my wild card teams, pick the champions, and leave with some weekly picks against the spread (direct from one of my football pools). Special thanks to Jacob, thanks to his comments on the last post, I realized I could afford to get a DVR and HD signal to watch all these games in the glory they deserve. Why can't the rest of you be more helpful!?!

AFC East: New England Patriots

Too good, too talented, and too well-coached. Not to mention, who in this division can beat them. Miami is likely to regress after overachieving last year (ask the Browns how that works out), and Buffalo and the Jets have too many question marks.

AFC North: Pittsburgh Steelers

The Super Bowl champs (damn that hurts to say) bring back pretty much everyone from last year. The Ravens will be tough on defense and make the playoffs, but won’t have enough to knock off the new Steel Curtain. The Browns avoid the cellar by one game over the hapless Bengals.

Bonus Browns Section: How do I think the Browns will do this year? I am going with an optimistic 7-9. I think Brady Quinn is going to be a very good quarterback in this league. I think there are some playmakers: hopefully Braylon, two young, fast RBs that Mangini will find a way to get on the field (James Davis, Jerome Harrison), and one of the rookie WRs (likely Mohamed Massaquoi, much love to my Bulldog fans out there!). The defense will be slightly improved. They will struggle early on against a brutal early schedule, but they find their stride late and win 4 of their last 6.

AFC South: Indianapolis Colts

I wouldn’t be surprised to see any of the teams in this division win it (even the Jags or the Texans). They all have playmakers, but they all have flaws. Colts are replacing a coach and a Hall of Fame receiver. Titans are counting on a 36-year-old QB to repeat a career year. Jaguars are a Maurice Jones-Drew injury from disaster, and the Texans are still quarterbacked by Matt Schaub last time I checked.

AFC West: San Diego Chargers

Another case of the best versus the rest. Denver is in shambles, Kansas City is in rebuilding mode and Cassell is already hurt, and the Raiders…well, they're the Raiders. Chargers get a bounce back year from LT, good production from backup Darren Sproles, and Philip Rivers becomes even more ungodly. Oh, and did I mention the physical freaks of nature they have defense? Some of them (Merriman, I’m looking at you) get so bored with football violence that they need to smack around bi-sexual MTV reality “stars.” Just kidding though, I’m siding with the Chargers LB over Tila on this one.

NFC East: Philadelphia Eagles

Michael Vick isn’t going to make the difference, but he will be an added playmaker. More importantly, McNabb finally has fast receivers and a backup RB for when Westbrook inevitably breaks down. Giants make the playoffs off their solid D and strong running game. Dallas and Washington overpay for 7-9/8-8 seasons as usual.

NFC North: Minnesota Vikings

I hate to even type that after the Favre situation. But I think their defense and the demi-god that is Adrian Peterson carry them to enough wins in what might be the toughest division in football. I would not surprised if the Vickings, Packers, or Bears won this division, or the even the NFC.

NFC South: New Orleans Saints

No team from the NFC South has ever repeated as NFC South champ, so that knocks out the Panthers. The Falcons are good team, but I see them making a slight regression like the Dolphins. The Saints offense is otherwordly. If their defense is even decent, they should be able to win this division. Sorry Bucs fans, that defense was finally deconstructed, and its time to start over.

NFC West: Seattle Seahawks

This division sucks. I’m sorry. It just does. I know the Cardinals made the Super Bowl last year, but only because they got hot at the right time. This year, I predict the Seahawks to stumble in based on good defense and relatively mistake-free offense…with a ripe record of 8-8.

AFC Wild Cards: Tennessee Titans, Baltimore Ravens

NFC Wild Cards: Green Bay Packers, New York Giants

AFC Championship: Chargers over Steelers

Come on, I couldn’t pick the Steelers to get back to the Super Bowl. I hate them too much.

NFC Championship: Eagles over Packers

No clear favorite in the NFC, so I go with the Iggles, who are due.

Super Bowl: Eagles over Chargers

Both these teams are due for a Super Bowl win. If this game actually happens, I will feel really bad for whoever loses. Here’s to assuming that these predictions will be completely off base. We’ll check back later in the season to be sure.

Picks of the Week: Assuming I post every week, I will try to include these at the bottom to see how poorly I can do. I give you a guarantee* that if you pick these games, you will win money 100% of the time.

*This is not a real guarantee and will not be honored in any way.

USC (-6.5) over Ohio St. (sorry fellow Buckeye fans, I just don’t see it)

Notre Dame (-3.5) over Michigan (in the Battle of the We-Used-To-Be-Relevant)

East Carolina (+6.5) over West Virginia (upset special!)

Atl (-4) over Mia (Matt Ryan & Michael Turner pick up where they left off)

NE (-10.5) over Buf (see above gushing paragraph about Patriots, oh I hate them)

StL (+8.5) over Sea (upset special!)

Breaking up, Moving (On), and Starting a New Semester (Pt. 1)

2009-09-03T09:37:00.000-04:00

As promised, here is the first part of the mega-post of what is going on in my life. A lot has happened since the last time I actually had enough time to write a post (and to be real honest, I still don’t have the time, but I need a study break). I will split it into 2 (or maybe 3) separate entries to keep it manageable. The next part will be put up after I get back from a wedding in BG this weekend (of course, including details of that awesome event). I hope you give it a read though, as I know many people have been curious to how exactly I came to be sitting in my own apartment in Camden Live Oaks. And if you didn’t know that Abby and I broke up (or worse yet, didn’t know we were dating), then we don’t hang out nearly enough, and we should get together soon.

So yes, Abby and I broke up. I won’t get into too much detail because as much as I probably say more on this blog than I should, our personal business is our personal business. The basic premise is that living together shined a light on the fact that we just didn’t have the ability to live together. I thought I was doing everything I could to be the best co-habitator I could, since it was my first time living with a girlfriend. She, I assume, was trying to make it a comfortable experience for me as well. Nonetheless, we both felt out of place in our own home, which led to almost bi-nightly discussions. I am all about communication in a relationship for sure, but that is more often than one should be having state-of-the-relationship conversations. So in the end, she wanted to break up, and by then, I agreed with her that it was the right move. To answer the question that everyone either asks or is too tactful to ask, no, I don’t regret us moving in so soon. It was learning experience for me in a lot of ways, and we were confronted with issues that might have taken months or years to confront. Instead, we were able to get out with the least amount of pain and complications as possible.

That left me looking for a place on one week notice. I spent a full day going to several different places looking for affordable one bedrooms. Let me go ahead and tell you, unless you are willing to compromise the type of area you want to live in, “affordable one bedrooms” is an oxymoron. But I found a place at Camden Live Oaks (my 2^nd stint in that particular complex), that wasn’t too bad, and has free cable, which helps me save a few dollars. So I lived in our old apartment for a week (a week during which, despite having recently broken up with someone, I was actually quite happy, a fact that I think speaks volumes about this being the right move), and then moved all my stuff to this place during a surprisingly quick afternoon (special thanks to Jon, Alvin, & Jeff on that). I was actually able to pretty much get unpacked and settled in a day and a half (special thanks to Shyam & Lucky for donating their old futon which really helps “tie the room together”). And other than the large rent and full utility checks I write every month, I am absolutely loving living on my own! No offense to any of my former roommates out there, but at the ripe age of 27, it is nice to finally have my own place, and I don’t think I’m going to give it up until its time to move in with a fiancée (notice I didn’t say girlfriend for the next move-in experiment). As I get ready to head to the airport, let me leave with some of my favorite and least favorite things about living alone so far.

Things I Love About My New Apt

1. Leaving stuff where I want to for as long as I want

2. Doing whatever I want whenever I want

3. Related to #2, only wearing pants when I want

4. My own fridge, my own kitchen, no confusion about if something is mine, where a pan currently is, or bumping into people while cooking

Things I Less Than Love About My New Apt

1. My direct neighbor who has two small, very high-pitched dogs that bark at everything…all the time.

2. I’m not suppose to have a grill, I do anyway, but I hate having to hide it.

3. The free cable is great, but I miss my DVR. I’m not willing to pay for a full cable service just to have a DVR.

4. My own kitchen mentioned above happens to be pretty low on counter space, but I get by through being creative, and I may use the kitchen table in the other room if I have to.

YouTube Video of the Day

2009-08-27T10:46:00.002-04:00

Ok, so I know this is a cop-out, but I feel like I haven't posted in a long time with all that's been going on, so I wanted to put something up for those of you who check back regularly. I am too busy with school for the next few days to put up anything of substance, but I promise a mega-article (probably a 2 or 3 parter) about my life and the big move will be posted by Monday at the very latest. In the meantime, for those of you who have never seen it (and of course for those who would love to watch it again!), I bring you the Winnebago Man. Give it the full watch, you won't be sorry.

The Greatness That Is Anberlin

2009-08-12T13:29:00.002-04:00

I like to think that I stay somewhat ahead of the curve when it comes to music. I have hopefully brought you some songs and maybe even bands on here so far that you haven’t heard of or didn’t know much about. My favorite band is a very fluid notion, and I have gone through several in the last few years. I would say since 2005, at bare minimum, I went through a period when it was My Chemical Romance, and then it was Fall Out Boy for a bit (probably for their 2^nd run at the title). In recent times, I was getting more into classic rock, and I would say either Zeppelin or Floyd were it for a while. But recently, as I’ve really started to absorb their whole catalog, I realized that Anberlin is currently taking that crown. Many of you may not know who they are, and many others may only know their first really bit hit (finally!), Feel Good Drag (not to be confused with an earlier song of theirs: The Feel Good Drag, which is good, but not as great as the aforementioned hit). Their musical ability is incredible and their lyrics are modern poetry in both their ability to be insanely profound and nonsensical at the same time. A very large portion of their music seems to revolve around relationships, beginning, during, and end, which brings about the raw emotion that makes most great music. And thus, as a service to you, my loyal readers, here is a primer to get you started if you decide to immerse yourself in this amazing band (and really, what are you waiting for?).

Some Background:

Anberlin is an alternative rock band from Winter Haven, FL. That city was, up until last year, the spring training home of the Cleveland Indians, and is a scant 45 minute drive from Tampa. Serendipitous? I think so! They were formed in 2002 and signed with a semi-independent label: Tooth & Nail Records. The same label that has represents some my other favorite underappreciated bands, including: Hawk Nelson, Thousand Foot Krutch, FM Static, & The Almost. The majority of this information, by the way, is from Wikipedia, “so you know its good. 60% of the time, it works, every time.”

Album Reviews:

Blueprints for the Black Market (2003) – Ironically, this debut album is one that I’ve only recently absorbed. You can definitely hear the rawness and the band still trying to discover their sound. However, incredible songs like ‘Naïve Orleans’, ‘Cadence’, and ‘Autobahn’ still make this an incredibly worthwhile album.

Never Take Friendship Personal (2005) – The title track is definitely the star, and overall, probably my least favorite of the albums, but that honestly is not saying much since all of their albums rock. ‘A Day Late’ and ‘Audrey, Start the Revolution’ would be the other classics on this album.

Cities (2007) – What I would call their breakout album, despite them getting their first significant airplay from a song of their next album. This is the album that got me into these guys, and I honestly don’t remember how I originally got into them. I do remember that the first songs I had by them were ‘Fin’ and ‘Dismantle Repair’ and it steamrolled from there. I give you a 100% Guarantee that there is not a back track on this album.

New Surrender (2009) – This album is still new, but is a great follow-up to Cities. ‘Feel Good Drag’ had a great combination of catchiness and musical awesomeness to propel them into the radio scene. ‘Breaking’ is the 2^nd single set to be released from the album, so let’s see where that ends up. It’s a very capable song, to be sure, but I would like to see ‘The Resistance’ get some play soon as well.

Top 10 Songs by Anberlin:

1. Unwinding Cable Car

2. Fin

3. Adelaide

4. A Whisper and a Clamor

5. Never Take Friendship Personal

6. Naïve Orleans

7. A Day Late

8. Feel Good Drag

9. The Resistance

10. Autobahn

Just a few of their more profound lyrics (in my humble opinion)

“This is the correlation of salvation and love”

“I am the patron saint of lost causes”

“I want to be your last first kiss”

“As time seems to drip like Dali, and neither of us has a place to be”

Just In Case You Didn’t Hear…I Recently Received (and Rejected) a Job Offer :)

2009-08-04T15:55:00.005-04:00

Alright, I know a lot of you have been waiting for a blog about my recent job offer, so without making this too boring for you with all the specifics, here is the gist of how I got (and then rejected) the offer.

As most of you know, I had given up on getting a job for the 2009-10 school year. Thus, I was very surprised to hear from Middle Tennessee State University exactly 2 weeks ago, that they wanted to talk to me about their temporary one-year opening. I was even more surprised (and flattered) when they offered me the position just 3 days later. And I was the most surprised that the offer was more viable then I would have expected that late in the year (mostly because it was an good I/O program that focuses on teaching and there was a chance of getting hired on as tenure-track). However, once the surprise and excitement of just getting any job offer after a year of rejection wore off, I realized it wasn’t the right opportunity for me at this juncture. There were several reasons for this decision, some of which included:

-I never got to visit or formally interview with the school, and it was hard to commit for a year (or beyond) that I had never been.

-I just moved in with the bestest girl in Tampa, why would I want to give that up to live by myself in a place where I don’t know anyone?

-I would have had to start about 3 weeks after I had gotten the offer.

-I would have had to teach 5 classes a semester (probably at least 3 different classes), leaving me only those 3 weeks to prep for said classes (while trying to organize a move, of course).

-I was (and am!) looking forward to spending one more year hanging with all you fantastic Tampa peeps who read this blog!

-Teaching so much would have severely limited ability to get more publications out and prep my job applications, which I would have needed to keep doing since I wouldn’t have been sure that the MTSU job was permanent.

-While the money offer was pretty good, once you took out taxes, moving expenses, paying for 1.5 apartments, plane tickets to see previously mentioned bestest girl and fantastic peeps, I really wouldn’t have made too much more than I will teaching 1 class a semester here.

-Not sure I could work at a school that actually uses the above mascot! (Kidding, of course)

So there you have it. My decision was made, with lots of support, advice, congratulations, and confirmation from many of you loyal readers. They really are a great school, and I hope that they open a tenure-track job that I can apply for this year. I am so happy that this decision is over though, and every day that goes by I am more and more sure I made the right choice. It is still nice to know that I am marketable enough to be get an offer, which makes me more confident that I will get a tenure-track job this coming year. I already have about 20 schools where I might apply, and more come out every day. So stay tuned, applications will be going out as soon as the end of this month and through October and beyond. I will keep you all posted on my top choices, and more importantly, schools that show interest in me!

My Life According to Fall Out Boy (plus Beards!)

2009-07-25T13:52:00.006-04:00

Hello all! This post is inspired by my sister, Deann, who posted this theme quiz on Facebook, and I needed a distraction, so here you go! I chose Fall Out Boy (she used Tom Petty) because they have lots of fun song titles, which should make for some crazy answers.

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 10 people you like and include me (presuming I'm someone you like). You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. Repost as "my life according to (band name)"

Pick your Artist
Fall Out Boy (by the way, I searched a lot of pics of Fall Out Boy, and I am pretty sure Pete Wentz demands that he never have wear a shirt in a picture)

Are you a male or female:
Don't You Know Who I Think I Am?

Describe yourself:
The (After) Life of the Party

How do you feel:
I've Got All This Ringing In My Ears and None on My Finger

Describe where you currently live:
This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On a Bad Bet

Your favorite form of transportation:
Sending Postcards from a Car Crash (Wish You Were Here)

Your best friend?
She's My Winona

You and your best friends are:
Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes

What's the weather like?
Golden

Favorite time of day:
XO

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
Champagne for my Real Friends, Real Pain for my Sham Friends

Your relationship:
It's Not a Side Effect of the Cocaine, I am Thinking I Must Be in Love

What is life to you:
Dance, Dance

Your fear:
Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over

What is the best advice you have to give:

A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me

Thought for the Day:
The Pros & Cons of Breathing

How I would like to die:
Thks Fr Th Mmrs

My soul's present condition:
Homesick at Space Camp

My motto:Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part to Save the Scene and Stop Going to Shows)

These are the last two pictures of the great beard re-growth of 2009. Both being taken exactly 2 weeks after I shaved it all completely off, the first pre-shave and the 2nd after I trimmed it up to its usually awesomeness! So apparently I can grow my beard back completely in 2 weeks...I don't know if I'm really excited or sad about that. Currently, I have some crazy stuff going on based on an unexpected job off, so expect a post next week once I sort it all out.

Hi, My Name is Joe, and I'm a Mac

2009-07-22T11:09:00.002-04:00

For some reason this topic has come up a lot lately, and I realized how much I don’t like using PCs now when I was home for the 4^th and had to use my parents’ computers daily (one of which crashed due to a virus before I got back, shocking right?) So as a former Mac-hater turned Mac-peddler (the first one is free…OK, actually the first one is quite expensive), I wanted to weigh in on the issue. I want to start by saying that I have nothing against PCs. I realize they are cheaper, more readily available and compatible, and easier for people to use from their previous experience. However, I do want to try to educate a little about the advantages of a Mac for those who want to make outrageous (or even just rageous ones) claims about the Mac without ever having really given one a chance. I should give a shout out to Greg who is the one badgered me about Macs for years before I finally saw the light.

PC-user complaint #1: There is no right click mouse button.

Response: I know this one well, because it was one of my biggest complaints about Macs when I was against them in college (many of our library computers were Macs). This is just flat out not true, and I am pretty sure has not been for a while. I am surprised this perception still persists, but trust me, there is right click capability…I’m doing it right now…and it feels soooo gooood.

PC-user complaint #2: I am used to using a PC, and it will take me too long to get used to a Mac.

Response: A valid argument, and it took me several months to get completely used to the commands, key placements, and user interface. I didn’t even realize that I had really become Mac-dependent until it took me a second to oriented on my girlfriends PC a little while ago. Nonetheless, it is not that hard of a struggle. And just because interfaces were a certain way (the PC way) for so long, doesn’t make it right. You mean don’t have to time to get a used to an easier interface where everything is right at your fingers tips, where you can click and drag anything from folder to folder, internet to folder, internet to desktop, where everything is connected through USB ports and not a different one for the mouse, keyboard, printer, and storage drives, where…well, you get the point. Is your life really that busy that you can’t make a few wrong keystrokes now to save yourself days of time over the span of your life? Is it, really? I am sad for you…

PC-user complaint #3: They are not compatible with everything I use.

Response: I have found very few examples of this being true. I have/can run Microsoft Office, Acrobat Reader, Full Tilt Poker, Warcraft, Real Player, etc., and Quicktime is compatible with Windows Media Player files (you know, for all those “funny” videos you have stored deep in your computer). The only exception I can think of is that I couldn’t find a Mac version of SPSS for data analysis (and I’ve even been told recently that this might have changed). Anyways, even if something isn’t compatible, you can run Windows on your Mac OS operating system and boot the software onto there. I prefer to get the pure Mac experience, but to each their own.

PC-user complaint #4: They are too expensive.

Response: Not as expensive as PCs in the long run! Between 2000 and 2006, I bought 3 PC computers. Most of them were running so slow or poorly within a year, that I already wanted a new one. I have had my Mac for almost 2 years, and it is running basically as good as the day I bought it. Plus it comes with so many extras that PCs don’t to make up the cost. For example, it has a built in camera, which I’ve used more than I thought I would (not for that sickos, for posting beard pictures and eventually taping some comedy for all of you loyal readers). It has a 19” widescreen display that is great for watching DVDs, and the operating system actually runs smooth enough to make using it as a TV worthwhile.

Plus! Super-Fantastic Bonus Mac Advantages!

#1) iTunes. Even if you don’t have or want a Mac, please, please, please use iTunes. It is by far the best music organization and playing system. No, seriously, go get it now. You can come back to this.

#2) The iPod is directly compatible, which is of course the best music player on the market.

Carter Pewterschmidt: Hey, Bill, can you help me program my Zune.

Bill Gates: Sure!

Carter Pewterschmidt: Oh wait, I have an iPod like the rest of the world!

#3) My Mac asks for a password to install any program that executes, limiting the chances of viruses.

#4) I can’t say it never crashes or runs slow, but it is very rare, and easier to correct.

#5) Justin Long is way awesomer than that guy with the glasses on the commercials.

#6) I can’t say I get no spyware, but I get very, very little comparatively.

#7) Stickies! Post-it notes. On your desktop. Nuff’ said.

#8) You can sound cool and condescending to people who don’t own one! J What?!? If PC commercials can say they aren’t cool enough to own a Mac, then that gives us a right to say it too, right?

I feel like I should get a royalty for writing that or something! I would feel like a corporate shill except that I didn’t get paid a dime for that (so far), I did it out of the kindness of my heart to help you. Um, you’re welcome.

Moving, Twitts, & a Beard Update

2009-07-16T13:38:00.002-04:00

Hey all, I haven’t been able to post this past week because Abby and I have been busy moving into our new apartment. Although I did have my computer set up on an end table from day 1 (I can’t live without constant internet at this point), I just got my desk setup.

We were welcome to our new place by a window covered in flies, a crap-ton of bugs in the kitchen, and a broken alarm system that would not stop beeping. Nonetheless, we persevered and have since killed all the flies, used traps, exterminators, and cleanliness to limit the bug population, and the alarm system is up and running. After an entire day of moving on Saturday (special thanks to Ben, Kyle, and Abby’s fam) and 5 days of organizing the apartment, it is now completely livable and almost fully functioning. We are hoping to have it all done by this weekend, so we can relax, and then I can get down to some hardcore work and job search prep starting next week.

FYI, I finally gave in and started “twitting” (I refuse to use the term “tweet). If you use Facebook, my updates go on there as my status. But if you are a Tweeple (and yes, that is the official term, I looked it up), you can login and follow me at http://twitter.com/Mazzter4l.

Finally, the great beard grow back is in full swing. I am trying to see how quickly I can regrow it back to its previous majesty. I of course mean how I usually wear it, not the supreme awesomeness of my redneck beard (although I have not ruled out that making a comeback at some point). I'm thinking I can pull it off in about 2 weeks, but we shall see. This is what it looks like after 6 days. That's a little bit of the new place in the background there as well.

Boredom and a Razor

2009-07-10T14:12:00.005-04:00

Yes, boys and girls, this is what happens when you are bored and you have a razor at your disposable.

I had planned on shaving off the beard for awhile now, so I figured it would be more fun if I shaved a crazy redneck mustache first. Now, its completely shaved off, and I already want to grow it back, since I look 12! I kinda forgot that's why I grew the beard in the first place!

July 4th: The Recap

2009-07-09T18:13:00.002-04:00

Abby and I got back from our trip to C-town this week (she came back Monday, I returned on Wednesday). It turned out to be a fun and eventful trip in which I accomplished no work (a stated goal) and probably ate and drank a little too much (more of a by-product). Here are the highlights:

1. Abby met the parents (which went very well), and we told them that we are moving in together (which went well after some initial surprise). She also met most of the extended family, which must have been somewhat stressful for me, but she persevered. They all seemed to approve as well.

2. Went to a restaurant called “Melt” which sells upscale “grilled cheese” sandwiches and high-end beer. I enjoyed some Spinach Artichoke Dip, the Hot Italian Sandwich (I won’t even insult you by making the obligatory jokes about my man meat…but I’m sure you can imagine a few that are rattling in my head), and a few Bells Oberons to wash it down. Got to see Aaron and his girlfriend, which was a nice added bonus.

3. Introduced Abby to the movie “Goodfellas.” She thought it was a little too violent (which of course it is, that’s half the appeal), but overall thought it was an interesting story.

4. Watched Joey Chestnut win the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest for the 3^rd straight year. Since I am usually sitting around waiting to BBQ, I try to watch this event every year. I love it! I especially like when they list all of the foods each contest is champion of (did you know there are contests for oysters, jalapeno peppers, and just about any pie flavor you can imagine?). Nonetheless, I feel we base a little too much national pride in whether an American can eat more hot dogs than anyone else in the world. It’s just another way to prove that we are bigger fat asses than the rest of the world.

5. Went to Little Italy for lunch. Had amazing cavatelli and probably the best meatballs I have ever eaten. Also introduced my Dad to Chimay beer, which he enjoyed despite him being most a light beer/Blue Moon guy. Before lunch, we stopped into what we would later find out was an upscale establishment for a drink and a quick pee. After we paid $50 for 5 drinks, I wish I had actually peed on something of value, so I would have felt like I got my money’s worth.

6. Greg came over for one of our BBQ’s and brought his Cornhole set. I haven’t played in awhile, and I don’t think my uncle Keith has ever played. Nonetheless, our team went 6-0 thanks to our commitment to consistency and few great bounces.

7. Got to catch up with Joe Gags after what seems like forever. The first few seconds of our excursion to Boston Market were pretty much the most insane thing ever. I can’t explain it, but it involved me trying to mumble an order and us not being able to stop laughing for 5 minutes.

8. Finally, took a trip to Mountaineer casino with my Dad. Sat down at poker for about 4 hours and played some real solid poker. Made a couple of tough calls when people were trying to push me around. Ended up making $220, getting another $40 from Let It Ride (my fav table game despite its horrible odds), before dropping back down to $100 after a tougher night session of poker. Also, ate an incredibly delicious bacon and blue cheese burger. All and all, a fun and profitable evening.

Overall, the trip was a lot of fun, involved a lot of great family & friends, I ate a lot of incredible food (already looking forward to going back to the Corkscrew restaurant we went to the last night), and imbibed in a few libations. Look forward to getting back in the groove, which really won’t happen until after this weekend when the big move is completed.

25 Random Things...Revisted

2009-06-30T13:57:00.002-04:00

I'll try not to make a habit of this, but I wanted to post something for you all before I left for Cleveland tomorrow, and I don't particularly have anything new to say. Therefore, I am reposting the 25 Random Things survey I took on Facebook awhile back, with some changes/additions to bring it up to date and spice it up for those who already read it. For those of you waiting for a comedy show, I am going to use the downtime on the plane home to refine some jokes and come up with some new ones. I want to work on honing them and working on the delivery after a 2nd small show that didn't go as well (but I realize that will happen if I decide to continue this and I learned two very key lessons: a) Don't do comedy after more than 3 beers and b) Pay attention to your material and not the audience's faces: yeah, I'm looking at you two :P). I'm planning the big "just-for-friends" debut in mid-July!

1. I am absolutely obsessed with Cleveland Sports, and if you’ve known me more than 2 hours, you probably know that.

2. I quote movies and television shows a lot, and if you've known me for more than 10 minutes, you probably know that.

3. I am generally upbeat and positive person; it takes a lot to get me upset, sad, or mad.

4. I am attempting to take up stand-up comedy. I am enjoying coming up with jokes and working on my delivery, but it has its ups-and-downs.

5. I purchased a guitar about 5 months ago and am trying to learn. After some initial success, I have not been practicing as much, and I am putting most of that time into my comedy now. Can't tell if I'm just multi-talented, or if I just have ADD when it comes to hobbies.

6. I had a blanket growing up that had Winnie the Pooh on it. I don’t remember when I stopped sleeping with it, but it was probably later than it should have been. My Mom got sick of having to sew it back together and threw it away at some point.

7. I can’t get enough of Rock of Love and Real World/Road Rules Challenges, and I don’t care who knows it. I pretty much hope Bret Michaels never finds love, I would miss those crazy bitches.

8. I lost track of what was going on in LOST (no pun intended) about 2 seasons ago, but I don’t care, its still the best show on television. The final season better end well, or I may cry.

9. My very first concert was Michael Jackson (may he rest in peace), it was a present for my 2^nd grade birthday. My second was (MC Hammer).

10. My third (and first one where I bought the tickets) concert was Metallica in High School, needless to say my tastes shifted a little around junior high.

11. I ran hurdles for the Track team in HS, and I was the MVP of the sprinters my senior year. On the flip side, I was 0-3 on making the basketball team.

12. I played just about every sport except soccer growing up. I started playing soccer in my sophomore year of college, now it's the only sport I play regularly.

13. My teachers in first and second grade were nuns.

14. I used to be an altar boy (boy serves the priest during mass, insert obligatory Catholic priest joke here) and a lector (person who reads stuff at mass) in grade school. I went on several retreats and even led one in HS. Now I am, for lack of a better term, an atheist. 12 years of Catholic school will do that for you.

15. My celebrity obsessions are Elisha Cuthbert, Evangeline Lilly, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, and Hayden Panettiere…

16. Fine…and LeBron James.

17. I was up for a job at Kennesaw St. that I really wanted but did not get last year. However, if I did get it, I would most likely not have met my wonderful girlfriend. That's how life runs sometimes.

18. When I was a kid, one birthday I got a whole bunch of He-Man action figures and the Castle Greyskull set to play with them in….I almost never played with them because the castle (in the shape of a skull) freaked the crap out of me.

19. I eventually want to visit the following places: Italy, Sicily, Amsterdam, Australia, and possibly Ireland.

20. I am published in the Journal of Addictive Behaviors. Hopefully soon in a few others.

21. My highest ever bowling score is 214, back when I used to play in a league. I literally hit 199 about 4 times before I broke through and got that 214.

22. I am pretty serious about my exercise and eating routines. I like to think that I get off the train right before obsessive, but its hard to tell from the inside.

23. When I was really little, I was bit by a goat. Thus, making me jumpy around all animals for a very long time. (That’s call stimulus generalization for those of you not in Psychology !)

24. I have 461 "friends" on Facebook. When the hell did that happen???

25. If its a dorky game involving orcs, magic, and numbers, I've probably played it for a short time (e.g., Dungeons & Dragons, Magic: The Gathering, World of Warcraft). I think the quick strategy and math appeals to my ADD brain, but the sticking with it long enough to master it (and thus give up any semblance of cool I may have left) does not.

Some Sad Business and Cavs’ Draft Review

2009-06-26T11:16:00.005-04:00

First, let me send my love to Farrah Fawcett and her loved ones. Her popularity was before my time, but everything I saw and heard about her suggests she was a strong and beautiful woman. May she rest in peace.

Second, I want to take a second to celebrate the body of work of Michael Jackson and give my condolences to those who were close to him. He was the first concert I ever went to; my parents bought me tickets for my birthday in 2^nd grade. I am not a MJ apologist, if he did what he is alleged to have done (I suspect there is at least some truth to it), taking the innocence of child is an inexcusable act that he will have to answer for at some level. But despite his personal and legal problems later in his life, he was an icon for an entire generation. The music he made will endure for a long time, and its impact on pop music is still felt today (in the good pop music anyway). At the height of his popularity, his international tours probably did more for American diplomacy than most diplomats do. I hope he can find the peace in death that he couldn't, from the public's perspective, seem to find in life.

Ok, enough of the sadness, now on to happier topics. The first of which is that I did my first dry run with my standup for Ben and Kyle (after a few beers for all of us to lower anxiety). They both said they were quite impressed, and they helped me refine some of the jokes that I was still unsure on. Hoping to do a bigger (and maybe longer) practice run soon, so I will be in touch with those who were interested. I put my name in to do open mic at Sidesplitters, but I have not heard anything yet. If you hear of other opportunities, let me know.

So I promised not to post about the Cavs unless they made a major move. Well, they made about the biggest one they could make, both literally and figuratively. Here is the things I like about getting Shaq. Shaq is a huge presence, both on the court and in the locker room. While he is certainly not the player he used to be, his presence on the court will take some of the scoring load off of LeBron. Shaq is still more powerful than most guys in the league and often commands a double team. Which would allow him to pass back out to LeBron, who will now have the defense scrambling to catch up with him, not a good situation against the freight train that is King James. And you know with his court vision, LeBron will find Shaq for some wide open dunks. I think his presence in the locker room will take some pressure off LeBron to be the guy who always has to answer tough questions after the game and will help everyone relax a little bit more with another big and funny personality around. Also, this move costs the Cavs almost nothing. They gave up Ben Wallace, who was certainly on his last legs and may retire, and Sasha Pavlovic, whose athleticism I have always liked but had little to no role on this team. We are already stacked with small, athletic guards. Also, it doesn’t take away any of our flexibility in the all-important summer of 2010 when we can sign a free agent to help Lebron’s decision to stay (Chris Bosh, anyone?).

So what don’t I like about the trade? I think we need to stay cautiously optimistic. Shaq is 37 years old and has been carrying 300+ lbs for a long time. There is no way to know how his body will hold up this season. But he is as motivated as ever to get another ring before Kobe and show that he deserves one last big contract. He will be given days off throughout the season to keep him playoff fresh. Remember this team won 66 games in the regular season without Shaq. This move is meant to help with the matchups and slow-down offense of the playoffs. It remains to be seen how this will affect the defense and chemistry, but those are two things that the Cavs have hung their hat on for the past few years, so I suspect they can work it out. If nothing else, I guarantee they will be fun to watch.

Finally, the draft. The Cavs “shocked” a lot of people by taking a young kid from Congo, but it was a pretty standard move. They didn’t feel anyone was worth paying at that pick, so they saved some money, and got a potential guy they can stash overseas. Odds are he won’t ever play in a Cavs uni, but you never know. More importantly, this signaled to me the Cavs are saying, “we are playing for a championship this year, and we aren’t going to have 30^th pick rookies contributing significant minutes.” They did pick up Danny Green from UNC later (why must you continue to force me to root for Tar Heels, universe!!!), and he may get some minutes as a perimeter defender, but that would be a bonus at this point. It shows the Cavs have, or at least think they have, some more moves to make to improve this team for a championship run. Those moves may or may not include: re-signing Anderson Vareajo, and/or signing Rasheed Wallace, Trevor Ariza (my personal choice), Matt Barnes, Charlie Villenueva, or Chris Anderson. Other players are options as well, but it should be interesting to watch. Go Cavs!

What is New With Joe?

2009-06-23T16:20:00.001-04:00

I know you are all wondering, what is new in Joe’s life? And if you aren’t, then I guess you don’t have to read this, but I will try to make it as brief and interesting as possible (Teaser: There is a surprise twist in #3 that I bet you didn’t see coming!). So without any more waiting, here are 3 three exciting things currently going on with me:

1) I am going to Cleveland to see the family at the beginning of July. The more exciting part of that is that Abby is coming with me, and this will be my parents’ and extended family’s first chance to meet her. I know they will love her as well, but it will great to already have that first encounter behind us. Furthermore, I love you FL, but we are in that 6-8 week period where Ohio weather is actually better than Florida’s. So I am going to soak up that mild sun with medium humidity!

2) Academic job openings are start to come out again, so I get to check the posting websites everyday and imagine the places that I may live. This portion is particularly excited because it doesn’t have any of the work that the application portion has or any of the anxiety that the interviewing portion has. Right now it is all about the possibilities of what I could teach and where I could live, and not the “holy crap I really need to get hired somewhere” that will likely come later.

3) Finally, I have an exciting announcement to make: I am going to attempt to do standup comedy. It is definitely just going to be a hobby at first, but I have started to put together what I think is a pretty decent routine. I think it is something that I could be pretty good at, that will be fun for me to work at, and actually includes some skills that I think will help me with my teaching. I am tentatively looking at some open mic nights (prob either July 9 or Aug 6, depending on how ready I feel), so I will keep everyone posted. I may also be asking some of you to attend a special first screening so I can practice in front of an audience.

Cavs Wrap-up Pt. 2

2009-06-17T11:14:00.000-04:00

Finishing off the previous article by talking about what was good about last season, and what the offseason may hold.

Fourth, it will still be awhile before I can look back and really appreciate this season. But if Cleveland teams continue to not win championships, this will one of the season I will look back at fondly and be glad I experienced. We won 66 games in the regular season, swept the first two rounds in the playoffs, and had the Coach of the Year and MVP. We saw the emergence of Mo Williams who, although it doesn’t appear he is that 2^nd superstar, should play a large role for this team for years to come. We got to watch the beginnings of J.J. Hickson and Darnell Jackson, both of whom I believe have a place on this team in the future. We got to see LeBron take his game to a new level, including the two playoff performances mentioned above, and he committed so much to the defensive end, that he almost took home the Defensive Player of the Year award too. Some might say that if I think they were so good, how could I be so pessimistic that they couldn’t come back in the series against Orlando. Simple, in the end, the Cavs are who we thought they were, or at least, who we should have thought they were if we were paying attention. Six of their losses came against the 3 other elite teams (Orlando, Boston, and the LA Lakers). Of the other 10 regular season losses, 7 were to playoff teams. So in essence, the Cavs showed up every night, played tough defense every game, and let LeBron do the dirty work in the 4^th quarter if necessary. However, they just didn’t have the talent yet to match up with the other elite teams in the league. But…

For the optimistic part, I think they have a very good nucleus and obviously a tremendous superstar. This offseason could go a long way to making them the team to beat. They have a number of trade assets, and a couple of different ways to sign some free agents (i.e. the midlevel exception). Dan Gilbert will do anything he has to do to pay for a winner because he knows his investment takes a big hit if LeBron walks after this season. If this Shaq deal goes down (with us only losing salary, and not key talent), I think that helps with the power down low problem quite a bit, and if not, there are other possibilities out there. After that, they need to work on some length on the perimeter, and I would like to see them sign two of the following guys: Jason Kidd, Trevor Ariza, Matt Barnes, Charlie Villaneuva and maybe, as weird as it sounds, Carlos Boozer or Rasheed Wallace. Acquisitions like those, added to what is already in place, I think makes them the favorite to go the distance next year.

So that’s it, I am done talking about the Cavs until either October at least, unless they make a big acquisition I feel a need to comment on. Thanks for sticking with me through that; it was very therapeutic.

Cavs Wrap-up Pt. 1

2009-06-15T10:54:00.002-04:00

My apologies for the hiatus. I knew my next article was going to have to be about my Cavs getting beat the Magic, and it has taken me awhile to really process it. I recently realized, when a friend sent me a YouTube video showing LeBron’s playoff highlights from this year, that I am not ready to look back at it visually and/or enjoy the good parts of the run just yet. However, I have mostly recovered and am ready to at least talk about the team, the season, and their accomplishments with as much objectivity as is possible for me.

First, hats off to the Magic, and all of you Magic fans out there (several of whom I have talked to, and have mostly been very nice about the beating they gave us). They played a hell of series, shot an incredible percentage, and never let up once they knew they had a chance to beat the Cavs. They are incredible team, and they create mismatches for a lot of teams because of their length. Unfortunately for them, the Lakers are not one of those teams. This has made me feel a little better, as I don’t think the Cavs would have beaten them, for the same reasons they lost to the Magic: the Lakers are taller, stronger, and have good compliment of lengthy perimeter players who can shoot. So, I take some solace in that this probably wasn’t the year for a championship (more on this later), although one more series victory would have been nice.

Second, despite how good a team the Magic are and how well they played, I believe the Cavs were a slightly better team. But, the Magic were perfectly built to beat the Cavs. As I said in my preview way back when, they had power and size down low, forcing us to more or less double Dwight Howard and/or foul him 25 times a game. The latter strategy led to a) our big men being in constant foul trouble and b) free throws for Dwight Howard that he suddenly started hitting. The doubling strategy led to the Magic swinging the ball out and around to 3-point shooters, who because of their height, even though our defense closed out pretty well, they could still shoot over the defenders and drained some pretty amazing shots. As Chris Broussard recently said, the Cavs had built their team to beat Boston, and probably would have, but now you will likely see them make moves to make sure they can beat either team, not to mention the Lakers and other West contenders.

Third, I got a lot of comments about “how well I was taking the loss.” I am not sure whether I consider this a compliment or not. J On one hand, I consider it a sign of maturity that I can take losses with some dignity and not let it get me completely down. On the other hand, I consider it an affront to my fandom if people think that them losing like that didn’t hurt me, rest assured it did, very much so. I contribute my calm-ish demeanor afterwards to these factors. A) Game 1 hurt real bad. Andy is really the only one who can attest to this, as well as a few people that I vaguely remember talking to over chats. I had still believed we could beat the Magic pretty handily before that game, and that game not only shattered that illusion, but put the Cavs in a very problematic situation series-wise. I got most of my anger out that night and the next day while partaking in some mildly destructive behavior. After that, it was a slow march to what was basically inevitable. B) Game 2 and 5 were redeeming moments for the team. We got to have one of the greatest playoff shots ever and one of the best fourth quarter takeovers by one of the best players on the planet (LeBron, of course), during a series where it now appears we were overmatched. C) By the time the series actually ended, Abby was back to comfort me, everything else in life was going well, and I had expected the result for a while. It helped me to put the result in perspective and try to get excited for the offseason and who we might pick up to help the team.

To be continued on Wednesday...

10 Greatest Songs Ever...

2009-05-22T14:33:00.003-04:00

...at least in my opinion...on this particular day.

I was tempted to write an article about the rough Game 1 loss by the Cavs, but I promised a music post, and I have my integrity as a blog writer to think about. This is actually a list I posted on Facebook, but I thought I would update it, add some commentary, and put it up on The Barker. Amazingly, it has been only about 10 months since I posted this list, and there are a lot of changes. The songs that were previously at 4, 5, 7, and 8 fell completely off the list, and there was lots of maneuvering. Unlike my most played list, I will stand behind every one of these songs. There are obviously lots of different criteria that could be used, but I think mine was a combination of enjoyability, personal meaning, and historical greatness. I encourage you to disagree with me and to make your own list. Try ordering them too, it definitely adds to the difficulty. Would love to see everyone’s attempt at this!

With no more ado, here it is:

10. 311 – Love Song: I realize this is a cover, but I like this version better. My apologies to The Cure.

9. Dave Matthews Band – Satellite: This has always been my favorite Dave song, but a funny thing has happened. When I was in college, I was kind of anti-Dave because of all the hype around him, and liking Dave became cliché and expected. But now that I am away from that environment, I find myself liking him more and more. It’s like the opposite of peer pressure.

8. Heart – Dog and Butterfly: Not one of Heart’s more popular songs, but it is definitely one of their best. If you haven’t heard this before, do yourself a favor and do so.

7. Elton John – Tiny Dancer: Was #2 on the last list, dropped due to no fault of its own but the amazingness of the songs ahead of it. The first of two songs on this list with connections to Almost Famous. I don’t know if that is because I like that movie so much that I end up loving the music, or that they just did such an amazing job picking music for that movie.

6. Pink Floyd – Wish You Were Here: No explanation necessary. Ironically, the basic pattern for this song is easy to play on the guitar, and I can almost do it.

5. The Format – On Your Porch: An incredible and emotion filled song by a highly underrated band.

4. Better Than Ezra – Lifetime: Somehow makes a song about death seem upbeat, almost a celebration of the life as opposed to a sadness for the passing.

3. Bayside – Winter: Back to back songs about death. This one is more on the sadness/mourning side of the coin, but still an great and powerful song. Went from unranked in the last list to #3.

2. Elton John – Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters: I’m as surprised as anyone that there are two Elton John songs on here. I couldn’t in good conscience get rid of Tiny Dancer, and I have gotten really into this song lately. Another one by a famous singer that is not considered one of their top hits.

1. Led Zeppelin - Going to California: The champ still holding strong! This is just an incredible on so many levels. I can put it on anytime, anywhere, and just drift away.

Alright everyone, the gauntlet has been laid down! Let's see some lists posted in comments, your own blogs, Facebook, wherever.

Conference Finals Predictions

2009-05-19T19:04:00.003-04:00

Wanted to write at least a brief preview of the two conference finals in the NBA, in part, because I haven’t done a sports post in awhile and some have been asking for one (I got your back, Andy). Also, I am more interested in these late playoff matchups than usual because the Cavs are not only still in it, but they have yet to lose a game in the playoffs and are currently a 1-2 favorite to win it all!

Western Conference – Nuggets in 6

I thought this was going to my big upset pick, but it appears just about every analyst is picking Denver now. The Lakers showed just how vulnerable they are in the last two series. Kobe is a sensational talent, and Pau Gasol plays solid, but they are too much of a finesse team. You have to be able bang down low in the playoffs, make and take hard fouls, and play a solid halfcourt game. Most of all, you have to play with heart and intensity. Heart and intensity is how Boston almost took down Orlando while giving significant minutes to Brian Scalabrine, who could easily be mistaken for Jason Segel’s stunt double. Heart and intensity is not how you go a tough 7 games against a Rockets team that had lost its two best players!

Meanwhile, the Nuggets are destroying everyone they play (almost as badly as the Cavs have been, against admittedly more talented teams) and appear to be peaking at the right time. Much like the Cavs, they have a talented superstar (Carmelo), a solid point guard who is not afraid to defer or take the big shot when necessary (Billups), and a compliment of role players and big men (Kenyon Martin, Nene, Chris Anderson). Perhaps Denver has just been more motivated than LA, and LA really can turn it on whenever they want (they certainly did in Game 7 against Hou). But based on the resumes thus far, you have to go Denver on this one, and since I think LA would win a Game 7 at home, it has to be in 6. Admittedly, this is a selfish pick, as I want the Cavs to play Denver if they advance, because LA was the only team to really beat the Cavs in our house.

Eastern Conference – Cavaliers in 5

I wasn’t particularly scared of either Boston or Orlando against the Cavs, but I did prefer Boston because of their injuries and lack of frontcourt depth. Orlando did play well against the Cavs in the regular season, mainly because Dwight Howard causes mismatches down low, and once the Cavs double team him, it is tough to close out against Orlando’s talented 3-point shooters (e.g., Rashard Lewis, JJ Reddick). Also, thanks to Howard, the Magic are one of the few teams that keep the Cavs off of the offensive boards, limiting second chance points. Plus, they have a talented point guard (Rafer Alston, aka Skip to My Lou…the inspiration behind Kevin “Skip” Loo’s nickname) to distribute the ball.

All that being said, this is the playoffs. The Cavs have played like a team that truly has “One Goal.” They have completely demolished the competition so far, and although they weren’t the top of the league, the Pistons and Hawks were playoff teams with quality All-Stars on their roster. They are very well-rested, and I really see them continuing to the play with that intensity. While the Cavs can’t matchup with Howard exactly (who can?!?), they have the frontcourt depth to throw different looks at him and survive someone being in foul trouble. Not to mention, the Cavs are the best defense team in the league, so they can keep themselves in games when they aren’t shooting particularly well. Finally, we have the ultimate playoff trump card: the Cavs can play the best player on the planet (and this is no contest now, just about every article I have read the last few months on the Kobe/LeBron debate agrees) for an entire 48 minutes if necessary. And after the defense keeps those games close into the 4^th quarter, would you rather be on the team with or without LeBron James?

In any case, it better play out like this, or I will likely be inconsolable for several days…

The Pros and Cons

2009-05-12T12:54:00.002-04:00

This is a very exciting entry: My first ever post on back-to-back days! Therefore, if you’ve been away for a day or two (or more...shame on you!), there are some hilarious Cleveland entries you should make sure you scroll down and read. Not sure if “The Pros and Cons” (The Ps&Cs) will become a blog franchise or not yet, but here is take one.

The Pros: Four Things I Am Looking Forward to this Week

1. The Biggest Loser Finale – Who will win this record-setting season? Who did the fans vote for to make the final 3? Who did the best at home? Will we finally get to see Allison Sweeney’s baby? And most importantly, when does the next season start? All these questions and more may be answered!

2. The Lost Finale – Thanks to the Cavs taking care of business in a timely fashion, I get to watch this finale at Jeff’s with other Lost-aholics! Thus, we get to marvel as they finally answer some questions, cheer at the twist and turns, and in the end, complain that they didn’t really explain anything and we are as confused as ever.

3. Angels & Demons – Not sure if I will get around to going to see it this weekend, but I am re-reading the book to get prepared for eventually checking it out.. I have always like this book better than The Da Vinci Code, and I figure it will be the same for the movies, since I was particularly unimpressed by both the movie and Tom Hank's mullet.

4. Going to the Indians-Rays Game – Despite the fact that they had the worst record in baseball before winning last night, I still love my Indians, and I will be out in full force to root them on at the Trop on Saturday. As I an added bonus, I will probably be out on the Gulf all morning before heading out there. Got to love FL and having friends with tickets and boat connections!

The Cons: Two Things I Am Not Looking Forward to This Week

1. No Cavs Games – Yes, I am extremely excited they swept another series and have won all 8 games by double-digits (that’s a record!). Nonetheless, the earliest they will play is Sunday, and next Wednesday is much more likely. The suspense and possibilities of this season are already going to kill me; I don’t need these long breaks making it worse. Rest up fellas, and let’s take it to Orlando/Boston!

2. Abby leaving me for 2 weeks on Thursday – As most of you know by now, I am currently dating a great girl by the name of Abby. She is leaving for a trip to Ecuador on Thursday; I am so excited for her, and I know it will be an amazing trip (as I’ve often reminded her :) ). Nonetheless, I will miss her a lot, and I guess I will just have to find ways to keep my mind and time occupied for two weeks. Happy Hour anyone?

Truth & Myths About Cleveland (Pt. 2)

2009-05-11T12:42:00.000-04:00

The 2^nd of the two Cleveland “tourism” videos seems a bit more mean-spirited in my opinion, but since native Clevelanders made these, I guess I can’t take much offense. Once again, we will delve deep into the “accusations” made by this video, posted below.

Statement: Under construction since 1868.

Verdict: Myth! While orange barrels are the official tree of Ohio, there was a brief period during the Great Depression when no one could afford to build anything, and thus, nothing was officially under construction.

Statement: Come see our river that catches on fire…

Verdict: Truth! The Cuyahoga river has actually caught fire 13 times! The most famous one being in 1969, but on the bright side, it did spur several federal protective measures including the Clean Water Act of 1972.

Statement: …it’s so polluted that all our fish have AIDS.

Verdict: Myth! Fish can’t get AIDS, and if they could, they would be very unlikely to get it from polluted rivers. This is to say nothing about Herpes Simplex II.

Statement: We see the sun almost 3 times a year.

Verdict: Myth! While my dad would swear this is true, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration says that Cleveland has 66 sunny days a year (which doesn’t even include those glorious partly cloudy days!). Suck it, Buffalo (54)! For the record, Tampa has 101…why did I move here again?

Statement: The Flats look like a Scooby Doo ghost town.

Verdict: Truth! The Flats used to be the go-to downtown hot spot. I even remember reading when I was a kid that NBA players (including one Chuck Barkley) loving being in Cleveland on road games just to go there. However, it got sketchy, as many of these areas do, a nicer version was built, and now there is basically nothing there. Plus, all the colorful old buildings make it look very Scooby Doo.

Statement: Don’t slow down in East Cleveland or you’ll die.

Verdict: Myth! This is a sweeping over exaggeration. However, coming to a complete stop in certain areas of East Cleveland will almost certainly get you mortally wounded.

Statement: Our economy is based on LeBron James.

Verdict: Truth! And how! I can think of much worse things to have your economy based on! He brings in a lot of money both nationally and locally, and he gives back to his community. It can’t be so bad to hook all our hopes and dreams on one person, can it? It’s not like he could leave us. Can he? No seriously, can he?

Statement: We’re so retarded that we think this is art.

Verdict: Truth! I have never understood that stupid “FREE” statue, but it definitely the most famous piece of art in Cleveland. Fortunately, our art museum is actually pretty well-respected, so we are not completely uncultured….just a little confused maybe.

Statement: At least we’re not Detroit!

Verdict: Truth! Hate to kick a city when their down, but I will always be glad that we aren’t Detroit. Oh well, they’ll always have the Red Wings, right Kyle?

Well, I hope you’ve enjoyed are time together today, and I hope you learned a little something too. Cleveland isn’t so bad. Sure it has its share of poverty, crime, pollution, and of course, crippling depression. But 1 out of every 5.53 days, the sun comes out, and you forget all those things for a few fleeting moments, and think to yourself there’s at least 3 to 5 worse cities to live in. I’m just playing, Cleveland, you know I love you.

Truths & Myths about Cleveland (Pt. 1)

2009-05-08T14:10:00.001-04:00

Recently, a few “tourism” videos for Cleveland have found their way onto the Internet. For the most part, these videos poke fun of the city of Cleveland, and as a native Clevelander and fan/lover/apologist for my city, I naturally think….they are hilarious!!! Nonetheless, I thought I would take this opportunity to post both these videos for your watching enjoyment, and clear up which parts are funny because they are true, and which are funny because they are absolutely ridiculous! While I will tolerate my city being slandered for numerous deserved reasons, I will not stand idly by and watch it get ridiculed for made-up chicanery! Here is the first video, accompanied by some of the keys statements, and my interpretation of whether they are truth or myth. The second video and commentary will be posted in a few days.

Statement: Come and see both of our buildings.

Verdict: Truth! While there are numerous buildings in downtown Cleveland, only Key Tower (built in 1991) and the Terminal Tower (built in 1930) rise above 700 ft.

Statement: Buy some food that’s prepared by the street.

Verdict: Truth! While technically true, I don’t see how this is grounds for making fun of a city! The last few cities I have traveled to have many more street vendors than Cleveland, and who doesn’t enjoy the convenience and affordability of hot dog served on side of the road.

Statement: Who knows you might even see this guy.

Verdict: Truth! That guy really does live in Cleveland! As do many other doo ragged, facial haired, blue collars types just like him!

Statement: W. 6^th Street is the perfect place if you’re a douchebag.

Verdict: Unknown! I have never been to said street, but judging from the buildings they show, it seems like an area that could be home to frequent douchebaggery. Fortunately, Cleveland has one of the lowest douchbag populations per capita in the nation. Mostly because its too cold to wear tight Affliction t-shirts.

Statement: This train is carrying jobs out of Cleveland.

Verdict: Myth! While the loss of the steel industry hurt it, the city of Cleveland has worked hard to diversify its economy from strictly manufacturing and has experienced as recent boom in office real estate. Its largest employer is the Cleveland Clinic, a world renowned hospital, who recently replaced someone’s face!

Statement: Cleveland leads the nation in drifters.

Verdict: Myth! We are actually between #4 and #8 in drifters, depending on who’s definition of “drifter” you use.

Statement: Moses Cleveland invented Cleveland.

Verdict: True! General Cleaveland helped negotiate the rights to be able to survey the land where Cleveland now sits. While the Mohawk and Seneca Indians technically owned the land, they were appeased with gifts of simple beads and whiskey (and the slightly more complicated, beaded whiskey). Ironically, this is not where the Cleveland Indians get their name. The were named by the media, at the request of the owner, in reference to the Boston (now Atlanta) Braves.

Why You Should Watch (WYSW)...Real World/Road Rules Challenge

2009-05-05T10:39:00.002-04:00

The return of the WYSW franchise brings us the only show that MTV has to offer that is worth watching. Which brings up another point: why does MTV have shows??? They apparently completely ditched music videos about 10 years from their main channel; MTV2 barely even plays them anymore, so how do they get away with calling themselves “Music TV”? Nonetheless, they did basically originate reality TV 17 years ago with “The Real World”, which inadvertently led to the show that is the center of this post. So for all of us who are hooked on such shows as “The Biggest Loser”, “Top Chef”, “The Cougar” (that’s for you Jeff, Happy Birthday buddy!), and “Rock of Love 16: Bret Turns 60 and Nails Chicks Who May Possibly Be His Granddaughters”, we thank you MTV! If this post gets you excited to watch this show, have no fear, the latest installment “RW/RR Challenge: The Duel” is on Wednesdays at 10. There have only been 4 episodes so far, so you can either read synopses online or wait for inevitable weekend marathon to see them all in order.

Ok, let’s start with the basic premise. These are former real worlders and road rulers who come back to compete in a variety of crazy games and head-to-head challenges to eliminate each other, in hopes of ultimately making it to the end to win large cash prizes. Some of the contestants (Mark, I’m looking at you) are from the days when you came on the reality show to be on the show and enjoy the experience, and possibly make some mall appearances. Nowadays, you go on a reality show to begin your career as a reality star. All of these people do numerous events and appearances and come on challenge after challenge. In all there have now been 17 Challenge seasons. Several people (according to Wikipedia) have been on 7 of them, including the craziest girls I can remember: Beth, Tonya, & Veronica (gee, can’t imagine why they keep inviting them back). These individuals have more or less turned their 15 minutes of fame into a career, and instead of making a living with real jobs continue to suck on the MTV teet. (Btw, if any of the contestants happen to read this for some reason, I’m a big fan, and would trade lives with you in a heartbeat J). All of this interaction leads to varying relationships of love and hate (mostly hate), and the drama typically ensues as one would expect.

Next reason to watch: the lifestyles. I am never one to judge other people’s drinking or partying, but other than the challenge events, that appears to be all that happens in this house. As one can imagine, this leads to lots of fights, nudity, and hookups. More on the fights to come, but as far as the nudity and such, let’s just say I would pay good money to get my hands on the non-blurred tapes of the numerous seasons. For some reason, group showers and hot tub orgies seem to be more the norm than the exception. Come to think it, really wished I hadn’t spent all that time doing schoolwork and had got on this gravy train before it was too late. There have been two hookups so far this season (not counting Brad & Tori who are engaged), and the latest one involved two ladies, one openly out the closet, the other bi-curious. The cameras were not able to get footage (how do they miss that???), but they did pick up some interesting sounds, as did the cast members that were listening right outside the window. And so as to not sound chauvinistic and crass, there is ample male eye-candy as well, and the producers often put them in Speedos for the challenges just to make sure of this.

Finally: the competition. It is fierce between cast members for two basic reasons a) unlike other reality shows, they all know each other and have alliances and dramas that go way back and b) as mentioned, most of them are broke and once you dangle 100 grand in front of them, they would basically stab their own mother in the back to get it. Then they would turn her around, stab her in the front, and spit in her face. While a few contestants stay above the fray, the rest maneuver, lie, backstab, align, and for some reason through it all, take every little slight as a personal attack (yes, I’m looking at you, Evan). How do you lie to everyone you can, and then act personally offended when someone comes after you? Many of these people, particularly the guys, have trained months for the show. A training that apparently will all be lost to the show as they just drink and party, and you never once see them workout, or if the big, beautiful house they live in even has a gym (as pointed out by the great Bill Simmons).

As a final tease to get you to watch, consider the events of the very first day of shooting. There is a big party (shocking!) with lots of drinking (really?), and at some point accusations start getting thrown around. Adam, one of the smallest guy on the show, gets into it with CT, and actually shoves him a little (a no-no on MTV shows). Now CT is….I mean, I’m not gay or anything…but he’s like….fine, he’s carved out of friggin’ stone, and he has a huge temper to boot. So not my first choice to pick I fight with, and he proceeds to pummel Adam with punches, and while the other guys hold back CT (pretty unsuccessfully), he completely destroys a door in the process. After a few more chase attempts and decent shots to Adam’s head, both of them are sent packing before the challenge even starts! So there you go, what else could we have in store for us, if that’s the first 30 minutes? I can’t wait to find out!

Checking in with the NBA Playoffs

2009-04-30T12:12:00.000-04:00

I know my non-sports readers will simply gloss over this, so be advised that I have two posts in the works involving television and randomness. Expect them to be out in the next few days. Here is an update on how I have done in my first round predictions for the series that have finished so far.

Prediction: Cavs in 5.

Actual: Cavs in 4.

Analysis: It is hard to sweep a series, and I really thought the Pistons veterans would put up some fight and pride would get them a game. I was wrong. The Pistons’ starters officially went on vacation about the 2^nd quarter of Game 2. Certainly glad to be so close to right, and that my Cavs cruised into the next round. So bored right now waiting for them to start the next round though…

Prediction: Lakers in 5.

Actual: Lakers in 5.

Analysis: Dead on, I rock. Glad to see the Jazz were able to take a game and make the series semi-competitive. One thing to note as the playoffs move on. In the game the Lakers lost, the ultimate “game-finisher” in Kobe Bryant, was not able to find the a rhythm and didn’t show that killer instinct/extra gear he is suppose to always have ready. I find it hard to believe that LeBron would have this problem, especially with the players he now has around him.

Prediction: Mavericks in 6.

Actual: Mavericks in 5.

Analysis: Given that this was my only upset pick, I think it made even more impressive by the fact that I gave the favorites an extra win! Mavericks look like a tough team right now, and I think the upcoming series with the Nuggets will be a good one.

Prediction: Nuggets in 6.

Actual: Nuggets in 5.

Analysis: Once again, gave the underdogs too much credit. When the Hornets should have been getting that 2^nd win at home, they were laying an absolute egg and losing by a playoff record 58 points! Also, every time I turn on the Nuggets, I literally get mesmerized watching Chris “The Birdman” Anderson and can’t turn it off. Here’s hoping he sticks around until the Finals for us.

So there it is, 4 for 4 so far, never off by more than a game in series length. I should work for ESPN or something (hint hint to the random executives that I know are reading my blog). The finishes of the other 4 should be exciting (especially Bulls-Celtics). Stay tuned.

27 Most Played Songs on My iTunes/iPod (Part 2)

2009-04-23T13:23:00.002-04:00

Before we get started, here is an Earth Day-related public service announcement courtesy of NBC the other night (The More You Know). Did you know that enough disposable coffee cups from Starbucks, McDonalds, etc are thrown away every year to circle the Earth 5 times?!? And the same substances that make the cups waterproof makes them tough to break down. If you are a coffee drinker, please consider carrying your own mug with you…many places even give discounts to those who do.

And now, the exciting conclusion. I may continue to write these entries in 2 parts. For one, I tend to be long winded, and it keeps them from getting too long. Plus, it creates intrigue and mystique.

11. Disturbed – Stricken (24): Another Guitar Hero 3 song. I had this before that game, but it got most of its play afterwards. Also used on several workout mixes.

11. Boys Like Girls – Thunder (Acoustic) (24): While I consider Boys Like Girls to be sort of a pop-punk band, this is a very heartfelt love ballad. And it’s acoustic…and everything is better acoustic. I bet you even “Mmmbop” would have been great if it was acoustic.

11. Atreyu - Becoming the Bull (24): Pure workout tune. Not overly great song, but quite listenable and pumps me up.

8. Sixx AM - Life is Beautiful (26): Another workout song, but I can enjoy this song at all times of the day. Nikki Sixx’s new band (of Motley Crue fame) has a great sound, combing the old Crue with new rock genre (a la Shinedown), and I have enjoyed all I’ve sampled from them.

8. The Killers – When You Were Young (26): Last Guitar Hero 3 song on the list, but the best of the bunch. I particularly enjoy it because of the lyric, “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” Since thanks to my longish hair and beard and Mediterranean roots, I kind of do.

8. Fall Out Boy – Golden (26): FOB makes a return engagement. This I their ballad, and while I have always liked this song, it has recently become one of my favorites. While the majority of the songs on this list I rank as 4 stars on my computer, this one is one of the only 35 songs on my computer that I rank as 5 stars.

7. The Bravery – Believe (27) – This is just such of a good song by a highly underrated band. It just a fun anytime song, and due to the fact it falls into several genres in my opinion (rock, pop, a little blues), it should be easily accessible to anyone. The take home message: Download this if you don’t currently own it.

6. Buckcherry – Sorry (28) – I almost feel like I should say “Sorry” about this song being this high. I actually don’t listen to it that much anymore, but I got really into it for a few weeks. Still a good song though, and an impressive stretch for the band that also wrote “Crazy Bitch.”

2. Paramore - Crushcrushcrush (32) – I love Paramore. I love Hayley Williams. Come on…a hot little rocker chick from Tennessee…what’s not to love? Plus, just like the reason I liked The Donnas, she sings songs about things in the way guys only imagine girls think…like they are the aggressors, and we are just suppose to wait and be pounced on by these rock-n-roll temptresses. Did I reveal too much there? Let’s move on.

2. Flobots - Handlebars (32) – For those of you who know this song, it is a little strange, but I think that’s where its appeal is. How can you know love lyrics like: “Me and my friend saw a platypus”, “I can tell you about Leif Ericson”, and “I can make computers survive aquatic conditions.”

2. Anberlin - The Unwinding Cable Car (32) – I am a little sad this is the only Anberlin song on here. Anberlin is fucking awesome! If you haven’t heard of them (and most haven’t although they finally had a radio song recently), then I am sad for you, and I will make you a CD immediately. The guitar in this song is wonderfully simple and beautiful, and I should know, it is one of the few songs I know how to play on guitar.

2. All-Time Low - Dear Maria, Count Me In (32) – A pop-punk, in-your-face song. Just enjoyable to pop in anywhere, sing along to while pointing at random people saying “Dear Maria, Count Me In.” I’m not sure what I am counting myself into, but I think that’s kind of the whole point.

1. Paramore - Misery Business (36) – Crazy, right? You didn’t expect to find a popular radio song up here, did you? And certainly not another Paramore song? But like I said, I love Paramore! This whole album (Riot!) is really quite good. The beautiful thing about this song (besides the aforementioned temptress thing) is that I do use it in workout mixes, but its great in the car or at home too, and one of the few songs that I really enjoy that is mainstream enough that most people know it too. Of course, if all of you would get off your lazy asses, stop reading blogs, and download these 27 songs, then maybe that wouldn’t be the case!

27 Most Played Songs on My iTunes/iPod (Part 1)

2009-04-20T19:48:00.002-04:00

Disclaimer: First of all, I got a new computer about a year and a half ago, which reset the play count on my iTunes. So this list is more the top songs I’ve gotten into in that time frame, as opposed to the most I’ve played ever. Second, I don’t claim these are the best songs in my collection, but they were good enough for me to listen to them all the way through quite a few times. But since iTunes automatically makes this playlist (and has so many other great functions I’m not sure I even listened to music before this program), what better place than here to start your musical education, then with songs so easily accessible and enjoyable that you can listen to them over and over again. The reason it is 27 songs is because of ties at 25. First half is below (counting backwards for suspense purposes), and the second half will be out on Thursday. For each artist and song, you will find the number of plays in parentheses, and short synopsis about the song and/or how/why I like it so much. I don’t apologize for any of these…although perhaps I should. For the majority of these, if you don’t have them, I recommend you get them (and I would be happy to make a mix for any of my loyal readers).

25. Thousand Foot Krutch – Absolute (21): This is a song I workout too on a regular basis, you will soon find that a lot of songs on here end up being from my workout mixes as I play those often. Sidebar, I am about to go running for the first time in almost 7 weeks, wish me luck…

25. Matt Nathanson – Answering Machine (21): I’m sure there are other versions of this song, but this is off his live, acoustic CD called At the Dig. Great artist, great disc, and even has some great dialogue between songs.

25. Boys Like Girls – Broken Man (21): The first Boys Like Girls song I ever had (well before they hit the Top 40 stations). I have since absorbed and loved the entire album, as will come up again later.

22. James Blunt – Goodbye My Lover (22): Blunt’s first CD was surprisingly good, and this song is better than the one that got all the airplay – “You’re Beautiful.”

22. Hanson – Georgia (22): If you haven’t heard this song, then you have no right to laugh. Yes, “Mmmbop” was bad, but I write that off to Hanson being young and easily influenced by parents, record-label, whatever. Believe it or not, they still make music, and much of what I have found is shockingly good.

22. Bowling For Soup – When We Die (22): Bowling for Soup is just a fun band for the most part with funny lyrics with lots of pop culture references (another song is entitled – “Val Kilmer” and actually makes reference to the movie Real Genius. On another sidebar, if you haven’t seen Real Genius, shame on you. However, this ballad is a break from those campy songs, and it is filled with raw emotion.

16. Saosin – You’re Not Alone (23): This had a short and quick run for me, but I still put it on from time to time. The rare song that is both highly emotional and highly motivational.

16. Poison – Until You Suffer Some (Fire and Ice) (23): I really have no idea how this got this many plays!?! I think I thought it was a fun song in conjunction with Rock of Love, it got onto a few playlists, and things just got way out of control. You know, like a drug habit.

16. Joshua Radin – What If You (23): Joshua Radin is what John Mayer wishes he was, and this is his best song to date. No offense to Mayer because he is quite talented, but due to his pop sensation appeal, has not been willing to branch out.

16. Funeral for a Friend – History (23): One of the few older (older being 2005, of course) songs to make this list. I am a fan of FFAF overall, but regardless of your musical taste, you will like this one.

16. Fall Out Boy – Thks Fr Th Mmrs (23): I’ve been a big FOB fan since long before they hit it big. I try not to fault them for their popularity and still enjoy their music on a regular basis. Many of their best songs are not as popish as the ones you hear on the radio…this is one of those popish songs, but is enjoyable nonetheless.

11. Skillet – Rebirthing (24): Another one that crept up the list, but this again is a workout song for me. Hard to believe I workout to a song with a violin, but somehow it works.

11. Framing Hanley – Lollipop (24): Ok, before anyone says anything…Yes, I realize this song is not particularly “good.” Yes, I realize it’s a Lil’ Wayne cover. But man, its just so much fun and pumps me up. I have only had this song for about a month, and pretty much throw it on once a day just for the heck of it.

11. DragonForce – Through the Fire and Flames (24): The first song on this list to get into my collection due to Guitar Hero 3 (more to come). What I can say? That game consumed a lot of time for me for a few months. This was the hardest song on the game, in part because the song itself is sped up to about 2 times the speed they actually played it, so I spent a fair amount of time trying to beat it. For the record, I can 4 star it on Medium and made it 97% through on Hard (I almost smashed the guitar when I got that close and failed). Expert level you ask? I think I got 3%...go ahead and give it a try.

That’s all for today, come back for the exciting conclusion on Thursday. J

NBA First Round Playoff Preview and Predictions (East Version)

2009-04-17T10:48:00.002-04:00

And now on to the East Coast, with a little extra room at the end to talk about my Cavs and how much a championship would mean to Cleveland.

#4 Atlanta Hawks vs. #5 Miami Heat

It is no surprise that I once again find this to be the most intriguing matchup. The 4/5 series tend to be pretty evenly matched, making for good games. The Cavs and Wizards also played an epic 4/5 series recently. Atlanta has followed a strong showing in the playoffs last year by moving into the status of great (albeit not championship-caliber) team this year. The Hawks are still pretty young, but they learned a lot in the playoffs last year and have an underrated superstar in Joe Johnson. Al Horford and Josh Smith are young players who have really come into their own. The key will be how healthy Marvin Williams is after a recent injury.

I know I am going to get hater comments from my FL friends, so let me get this out of the way. I like the Heat, and I love Dwayne Wade. I love the way he plays the game and how he would do anything to win and help his teammates. But Dwayne Wade would not be the MVP this season even if the Heat won more games. He scored 1 more point and half an assist more per game than LeBron, but he doesn’t play as good as defense (see John Krolik’s blog on the Cavs for the numbers to back this), lacks significantly in most other numbers, and can’t control an entire game to the extent of James. But I will give Wade this, he carried a god-awful team to 43 wins! The Pistons have 3 All-Stars on their roster and only got to 39. I am a fan of both Udonis Haslem and Jamario Moon…as great bench players…not your starting 3 and 4. Not to mention Jermaine O’Neal, who despite being only 30 has been over-the-hill for 3 years now. (Sidebar: This is a trend we are starting to see with players, particularly big men, who went straight to the pros from HS. It is no longer how old you are, but how many miles have you logged in the league that determines your prime.)

Hawks in 7: Normally in the playoffs you go with the team with the biggest star, but I think Joe Johnson is only a mild step down from Wade, and the rest of Wade’s cast are a big step down.

#3 Orlando Magic vs. #6 Philadelphia 76ers

The Magic have played well all year and have begged to get the respect they rightfully deserved. They have the best young big man in the game, and if I was starting a team today, and could pick anyone besides LeBron to be my anchor, it would be Dwight Howard. They can make it rain 3’s, but that can be a detriment too. However, they sputtered down the stretch, and I’m curious to see how they hold up in the playoffs.

The 76ers gave it a nice run. Considering they put so many eggs in the Elton Brand basket, who never gelled with the team and then went down for the season, this season was a success. But Andre Iguodala is a very good player, not a franchise guy. On top of that, with playoffs seeding on the line, they almost lost to a Cavs team whose entire starting lineup in suits on the bench.

Magic in 5: Samuel Dalembert meet Dwight Howard, fortunately you won’t have to know him for too long.

#2 Boston Celtics vs. #7 Chicago Bulls

Yesterday, the news finally broke. Kevin Garnett is out to start the playoffs and may not return at all. Paul Pierce is a superstar, and Ray Allen is very good. The Celtics are another team who has put the right role players around their “Big 3”. But there is no questioning that Garnett was their physical and emotional leader during the championship run last year. Can Coach Doc Rivers orchestrate a return to the Finals without him? If so, he deserves a recount from whoever does end up winning the Coach of the Year (hopefully that’s Mike Brown).

The Bulls have become a solid team since the trades for John Salmons and Brad Miller. Derrick Rose will likely be the Rookie of the Year and has a solid career ahead of him. Vinny Del Negro should be considered the Rookie Coach of the Year and also has a solid career ahead of him (as opposed to a career of bad hair and short shorts, like he did as a player). I think this scrappy team can give Boston a series, but I just don’t think they have enough to pull the upset even without Garnett out there, especially when you start Joakim Noah at center (you may be noticing a pattern in the East that the team with the better center has the better record/forecast…that is no accident).

Celtics in 7: A tired and injured Celtics team heads into Rd 2 versus the Magic…can they continue to find the luck o’ the Irish?

#1 Cleveland Cavaliers vs. #8 Detroit Pistons

The Pistons and the Cavs have developed a pretty good rivalry over the last few years. As recently as 2 years ago, this was an Eastern Conference Finals matchup, and when LeBron willed them to a Game 5 OT victory followed the Game 6 clincher, it was probably my happiest moment ever as a Cavs fan. The Pistons are still a team loaded with talented veterans who play hard: Rip Hamilton, Rasheed Wallace, Antonio McDyess, and Tayshaun Prince. But they have steadily declined this year and are headed for a rebuilding phase (although I believe it will be a short one because Joe Dumars is a very savvy GM).

On the flip side, the Cavs have skyrocketed to new heights this season that no one thought possible at the beginning of the year. The best record in the league (66-16), a near flawless home record (39-2, the 2^nd coming on the aforementioned night with no starters), and the presumptive MVP (LeBron James). Mo Williams has been the perfect compliment to LeBron because he can hit the 3 and drive to the hoop to take defenders off LeBron. They also have several other good spot up shooters (Delonte West, Boobie Gibson, Wally) and are deep in post players (Big Z, Andy, Joe Smith, and hopefully Ben Wallace). No team has a deeper bench in my opinion (the only other team that comes close is the Lakers). And on top of all that, their true bread-and-butter is their defense, as they were tops in the league, which allows them to keep games tight even when the shots aren’t falling. While I can never be truly confident, the general consensus among analysts is that this team will make it to Finals for a battle against the Lakers for the championship.

Cavs in 5: Detriot’s veterans have a lot of pride and will use their physicality to win at least one.

On one final note, I think the majority of you know this information. I am a huge Cleveland sports fan, which of course, includes the Cavs. With that comes a certain amount of heartache, anguish, pessimism, etc. If you aren’t a Cleveland fan, you can’t possibly understand. Yes, I give Cubs fans their due credit, as I did Red Sox fans before they won, but you have to understand that those cities had winners in other sports. Allow me to list the reason Cleveland is the most tortured sports city by far.

-We have not won any championships in the 3 major sports since 1964. That’s over 130 seasons of sports. The next closest city was Philadelphia at around 100, but they just won a World Series, now its San Diego at around 90.

-Our teams come just close enough to get us excited before they find crazy ways to blow it, as evidence by the next several points:

-The Drive – John Elway leads an improbable 98-yard drive to tie game in AFC Championship, Browns lose in OT (I was only 5, and it still hurts to look at this picture).

-The Fumble – The very next year Earnest Byner fumbles away a sure TD that would have given the Browns the lead in the AFC Championship.

-The Shot – The last truly great Cavs team loses on a last second shot by Jordan over Ehlo (you’ve seen the replay or the commercial) and get knocked from playoffs.

-The Bottom of Ninth – Game 7, 2 outs from finally ending the drought, Jose Mesa gives up a Sacrifice fly to tie the game up. 2 innings later, a slow grounder through the middle ends the game and series.

-More recently, the Cavs made it the Finals as mentioned, but got swept by the Spurs. The Indians were up 3-1 on Red Sox, but lose the next 3. Made all the more painful by the fact that Red Sox swept the Rockies in the World Series.

The point of all this being that there are high expectations on the Cavs these playoffs to finally end this drought, and LeBron himself has even said that they will do so. I have sufficiently begun to believe they truly can, which means one thing for me: these playoffs will likely end in tears for me…one way or another.

NBA First Round Playoff Preview and Predictions

2009-04-16T13:21:00.002-04:00

I follow the NBA regular season as best I can. At the bear minimum, I come home at night and check out the Cavs score, box score, and recap, and then check how teams they are competing with did. However, the NBA regular season is looonnnnng…82 games long…with most teams playing only 3, maybe 4 games a week. It started October 28^th and ended yesterday! And yet, the playoffs are just as long, 4 rounds of 7 games, and there is always one day if not two days off in between (I honestly don’t understand why they can’t play every other day…oh yeah, making sure games don’t overlap so TV stations can make mad coin). So anyway, I will be watching a lot of this year’s playoffs, both because they stand to be pretty exciting, and my Cavs are the #1 overall seed with a legitimate shot of competing for a championship. Here are my thoughts and predictions for the 1^st round pairings.

West

#4 Portland Trailblazers vs. #5 Houston Rockets

This is a very intriguing series to me. The Trailblazers have come a long way since the “Jail Blazers” of just a few years ago. They have one of the best young go-to-guys in Brandon Roy (honestly, after LeBron, Kobe, Chris Paul, and maybe Paul Pierce, this is the guy I would want to have the ball with the game on the line). They also have a good young nucleus of talent around him in LeMarcus Aldridge and Rudy Fernandez, and key veterans in Steve Blake and Joel Pryzbilla. And that doesn’t even include Greg Oden (below find a picture of old-man Oden playing for his junior high team...), a total X-Factor who could foul out in 5 minutes or give you a 20 pt-20 rebound performance.

Meanwhile, the Rockets have played brilliant after losing Tracy McGrady…again. I’ve always been a McGrady apologist, giving him a pass for never making it out of the 1^st round because I think he is extremely talented. But I think its time to face the facts that teams always do better when he’s gone (one of my favorite sports’ writers, Bill Simmons, would call that the Ewing Theory). Yao Ming is a very solid and consistent threat inside, Ron Artest and Shane Battier are two of the best defenders in the league, and they are getting solid bench play from Kyle Lowry and Carl Landry. I believe this will be one of the best series to watch in the early round.

Trailblazers in 7: The Lakers prayers that the Rockets can knock out Portland go unanswered.

#3 San Antonio Spurs vs. #6 Dallas Mavericks

The Spurs continue to get older. I think Tim Duncan is actually 55 now, while his knees have a combined age of 137. Manu Ginobili is out, and he really has been their MVP the last few seasons. Tony Parker simply can’t carry this team on his own. They are a well-coached and disciplined team who always have success in the playoffs, but I just don’t see it happening here.

On the flip side, the Mavericks have played surprisingly well as of late. They won 7 of their last 9, beating 4 playoff teams in that span. Dirk is always going to produce for them, and Jason Terry is the runaway 6^th man of the year. Jason Kidd will bring his experience and leadership to the playoffs, and the rest of the role players know what they are supposed to do. I’m not sure it will be enough to make Mark Cuban happy (as he seldom is), but I think they can win this series.

Mavericks in 6: My upset special for the West, but I wouldn’t put surprised to see SA gut out another playoff series.

#2 Denver Nuggets vs. #7 New Orleans Hornets

The Nuggets got the #2 Seed in the West!?! Did anyone notice that was happening until they actually had it. This is a very talented team, made even more so by the acquisition of Chauncey Billups, the consummate team guy, in exchange for Allen Iverson, the ultimate me-first guy. I have always been a fan of Iverson actually, as he has put his body on the line to help his team win every single night for years, but his reaction to being a bench player this season shows him for what he is: someone who can’t accept he is getting older and that he needs take the role that helps the team most. Billups has given this team the leadership it needs, and now Carmelo Anthony is free to just play basketball, exactly what he does best. This is another team (as most great teams are) that has role players who fit into their spots perfectly, including Nene, Kenyon Martin, J.R. Smith (I’ve always thought he is underrated, which of course means he is soon to be overrated), and Chris Anderson (The Birdman flies in any weather!, see picture of said Birdman).

The Hornets are also very talented (Chris Paul is a Top 5 player, and David West is All-Star caliber), but they took a step back this year. After all, this is a team that is just 2 months removed from trying to trade their starting center before he was sent back after failing the physical. I hope they at least played it off as a prank, “Just kidding! We always wanted you back! Please play hard the rest of the season so we can get rid of you in the offseason…” They did a great job last year of becoming a great team out of nowhere, but they weren’t ready to do it with the spotlight on them.

Nuggets in 6: Paul wills the Hornets to a few wins, but it’s just not enough.

#1 Los Angeles Lakers vs. #8 Utah Jazz

I’ll keep this one simple. Lakers: Kobe, Gasol, Odom, healthy Bynum, a coach who has won 9 championships, fresh off a trip to the Finals without a ring, and yes, even Sasha Vujacic (I swear he shoots 92% from beyond the arc whenever I watch him play).

The Jazz are a solid team, and I’ve always liked them as a team. I only root against Carlos Boozer specifically for tricking his way out of Cleveland and into a big payday (How’s it working out being the #1 player on a #8 seed, as opposed to the #2 on a #1 seed? We Cleveland fans never hold a grudge, just ask Jordan, Elway, Mesa, Manny…). Deron Williams and Paul Millsap are both very good players, and Sloan is an incredible coach. But if you think they can actually pull this off: see the above list.

Lakers in 5: It’s hard to sweep a series, and the Jazz will steal a home win somewhere.

This is getting longer than I expected so look for the East preview tomorrow.

Hope Your High School Mascot Wasn't the Mustangs...

2009-04-14T12:53:00.002-04:00

....And we're back!

Sorry for the hiatus, everyone. It has been a crazy week since getting back from New Orleans. It was a lot of fun (obviously), and I got to talk to a lot of people about the job market, and feel good about my prospects for to a real (read: academic) job next year, and possibly even a pretty decent one.

I have some great ideas about articles to come later in this, so here’s some primers to get you excited about checking back to your old buddy at The Barker: Thursday – a preview of the NBA playoffs first round matchups. Look to bring some interesting insight and humor to that post. I considered not bringing it, but I would hated to leave it at home and then need it…So yeah, I’ll probably bring it. Sunday – a music related post…if you do not currently come to me for your music, then this will be the beginning of your music education. It may take years, but I will get you there. Also, I don’t know exactly how you go about it, but try to become a follower of this blog. I am going to get back into a regular schedule, but I think being a follower will let you know when a new post goes up. But as for today, I bring you a true story that happened right outside my apartment complex not 2 weeks ago…

Several of us were hanging out at the house (myself, Abby, Kyle, Cailin, & Ben), albeit in different rooms, Abby and I were watching “Almost Famous” (great movie, probably to make appearances in future posts) in my room. While we were in my room, I heard a screech outside, but thought little of it (as I didn’t hear the expectant “crash” as Dane Cook would say, if I had heard it, I would have come out – “Mom! Where’s my shoes!!!”). After awhile, I came out to the main room, and noticed no one was there anymore. I thought perhaps an impromptu Taco Bell (aka Toxic Hell, which I am proud to say I have not eaten in about 3 years) run had ensued, but as a Tombstone was in the oven, I thought this to be unlikely. So we wandered outside, where we noticed several cop cars and began to wander towards the front gate of our apartment complex. As we got closer to what was clearly a pretty bad crash, I noticed that one car was on one side of the road, and the other car on the other side, approximately 50 ft away. The car closest to us was a red Ford Mustang, and as the other car came into focus, it too appeared to be a red Ford Mustang…what are the odds??? Turns out the car closest was only the front end of said Mustang, and farther one was the back half!

Apparently, from what we gathered from bystanders and the cops on the scene, a drunk driver was trying to evade the cops and turned onto our side street. As our street does not go perfectly straight, and as he was coming pretty fast and didn’t have the best reaction time at the moment, he missed a slight turn, hit a concrete light post sideways, and literally split the car in half. Each of the pieces going about 100 ft in different directions. The most amazing part of it all, is both people in the car (thank goodness the back seat was empty!) literally walked away! The car was cut clean in half about 2 inches behind the front seats, you could actually see right into the front of the car. Another few inches forward and this story would be a lot more sad. It was a pretty incredible sight, and both people in the car are insanely lucky to be alive. So let this be a lesson to all of you: Don’t Drink & Drive….or at the very least, do it a whole lot better than he did!

Some house cleaning...

2009-03-31T12:04:00.001-04:00

First, I have talk about great the Cavs are doing. This is by far the best I’ve ever seen them play, and they have the best record in the NBA by 2 full games. The also happen to be 35-1 at home, so if they keep that position and have home court advantage throughout the playoffs, they are going to be very tough to beat. LeBron is LeBron, and as great of a year as he is having (an almost certain MVP), he always steps up his game in the playoffs. Mo Williams has been a sensational pickup, and has been that 2^nd scorer who can run the show with LeBron on the bench that we have needed for a long time. We have the outside shooting (Mo, Delonte West, Wally) and inside presence (Big Z, Anderson Vareajo, Joe Smith) to keep any team off balance. And we can survive smaller injuries, as our bench probably goes at least 9 or 10 deep. So do I think they can finally win Cleveland a championship this year? Yes. Do I think they will? Probably not…it’s Cleveland, something will happen to break our hearts. Sorry for the pessimism, we’ve been classically conditioned. J

Second, on top of my brackets being busted, you may have noticed my Sweet Sixteen didn’t do too well either. My 13 and 14 ranked teams are both in the Final Four. On the “bright” side, my original champion from my main bracket and the team that I ranked #1 last week is still alive, and I am more and more convinced that UNC will win it all. Man, that still hurts to write.

Third, I forgot a few reasons to watch How I Met Your Mother. The first is that the main character, Ted, is from Ohio (Shaker Heights, specifically) and is a Cleveland Indians fan. If you look closely, he wears a shirt once or twice, and they go to an Indians game at Yankees stadium to try and cheer up Marshall. He also went to Ohio Wesleyan Univ., where I got a scholarship and considered attending before deciding on Bowling Green. The second is the great influx of guest stars in the 3^rd season. I thoroughly enjoyed the appearances of Wayne Brady, Sarah Chalke, Enrique Iglesias, Mandy Moore, and even Britney Spears.

Finally, I am leaving for New Orleans tomorrow for the Society of Industrial/Organizational Psychology Conference. Fortunately, I don’t have too many conference activities to attend, so I will mostly just be enjoying the city and catching up with friends I haven’t seen in a year. I am also hoping to do a little networking in my continued effort to find a job. On that front, I did have a phone interview for a one-year position at Gannon Univ. in Erie, PA, and I will find out this week if I get a campus interview. If nothing else, it’s more interview experience. So as I will be out of town, a post is unlikely this week, but I promise to post a new one on Monday. Have a great week all!

Ranking the Sweet Sixteen

2009-03-26T11:23:00.003-04:00

First off, if you like LeBron James and stats (and I am huge fan of the former and at least pretty comfortable with the latter), here is a link to an article about how awesome of a season he is having: LBJ. I am sure I will write a post about him soon enough, but for now onto my rankings of the remaining NCAA teams (with apologies to Bret Michaels, as I am forced to kick a few of these skanks off the bus).

16. Arizona: Made a good showing after barely making the tournament, and knocked out the Cleveland State Vikings when they couldn’t buy a bucket. Unfortunately, I think the tour ends here.

15. Xavier: Don’t know much about these guys, but they always have a solid team. If Pitt comes to play, they should take care of them.

14. Villanova: Squeaked through some early round games while basically playing at home. Now go to Boston to play Duke.

13. Michigan State: A Tom Izzo coached team is always going to have a shot, and this team is talented. However, I believe (and hope for my bracket) that they will have a hard time with reigning champs, Kansas.

12. Gonzaga: Very talented team, and the only mid-major left (if they can still be called that with their consistent success), but again, your tour ends here.

11. Missouri: Gutted out a great win against Marquette, but do they have another victory in them against the defending champs?

10. Pittsburgh: Even though I believe they will get past Xavier, they failed to pull away in the first 2 rounds against highly inferior teams. Unless they focus, I don’t see them going deep.

9. Purdue: I’ve been a fan of this team most of the season, and while I think this is where they belong on this list (and I have them beating UConn in my bracket), and I am not sure they will be able to handle them.

8. Kansas: They are the reigning champs, and while they don’t have the talent they did last year, they keep finding a way to win.

7. Duke: In what was meant to be a re-tooling year for the Blue Devils, they continue to overachieve. Will their luck run out soon, or can they give Coach K an 11^th Final Four appearance?

6. Oklahoma: I am not particularly high on this team as a whole, but when you have the best player in college basketball, looking at you Mr. Blake Griffin, you always have a chance.

5. Connecticut: Create matchup problems for just about everyone, especially because of Hasheem Thabeet.

4. Memphis: My pick for tourney runner-up, John Calipari always has his team ready to play. Had a scare in the 1^st round, which could be a sign of weakness, or exactly what this team need.

3. Syracuse: I really thought this team would be tired after essentially playing 4 games in the 3 days during the Big East tournament. They looked great in first 2 Rds though and should be even better rested this week. Johnny Flynn is a machine.

2. Louisville: Well-coached and talented team, have the ability to beat just about anyone when the step on the court except….

1. North Carolina: Man, this hurts to write. As a Duke fan, I hate to say anything nice about the Tar Heels. Therefore, I will write only in short statements. Hansborough. Coach Williams. Healthy Ty Lawson. 2009 Champs.

Movie Review: I Love You, Man

2009-03-23T12:55:00.001-04:00

So I don’t often make it out to the movie theater, especially unless it’s for a movie I have been psyched to see for a while (see: upcoming Harry Potter, Angels & Demons, & Transformers). I was partially reminder of why I don’t do this, since the STUDENT tickets were $7.50 a piece and medium popcorn and water came to another $9. On a complete side note, I don’t care what a movie theater, pizza chain, or fast food joint call their sizes (i.e. regular, extra large, and super value), if you have 3 sizes, then they are small, medium, and large. So despite not going to the movie theater in quite some time, my sister is in town this week for spring break, and we went to go see I Love You, Man last night.

Let me start off my saying that this movie is the poster child for bromance. What? You don’t know what a bromance is? As the not-so-famous son of the famous Bruce Jenner would say, “A bromance is you and your boys, hanging out, no B.S.” So as you probably got from the preview, Peter Klaven (Paul Rudd) is a real estate agent in L.A. who is getting married to Zoey (that girl from The Office that dated Jim before he finally got together with Pam), and he quickly realizes that he has no male friends to be in his wedding. This leads him to go on a series of “man dates” to find a best friend, where, as you can imagine hilarity ensues. Finally, as he is about to give up, he randomly meets Sydney (Jason Segel, who never shows more nudity than his shins in this movie…it’s a miracle!), and it’s a match made in heaven. How bromantic!

I really enjoyed this movie, and would give it a B+ (My sister gives it a B+ as well). This is surprising considering it relied a lot on uncomfortable humor, which I am not usually a huge fan of, but it made up for it with some great one-liners and fun character interactions (even if some of the characters did seem pretty one dimensional). It also involved a fair amount of Rush songs and jokes, and simply is no drummer better than Neil Peart! I imagine that a lot of the jokes are more relevant to guys because of the general bromance theme, but I think girls can relate to it from the standpoint of the fiancée/girlfriend and how she deals with losing time to the brolationship (Ok, I stretched a little on that one). Besides, its not actively uncomfortable for females, as some guy movies tend to be (I’ve been told Knocked Up fits into this category.

While my sister was a more than adequate companion for this movie adventure, I recommend taking the your best bro out with you and making a “man date” out of it!

Song of the Post: Rush – Tom Sawyer

Next entry coming this Wednesday: Whether your bracket is busted or not, come back and enjoy my ranking of the Sweet Sixteen in the NCAA tourney. By the way, my main bracket is not busted, and I still have a chance at some big money in one of my pools.

Why You Should Watch...How I Met Your Mother

2009-03-19T14:14:00.003-04:00

I intend for this topic to be a recurring column. I watch a fair amount of TV shows, whether for a few episodes or for their entirety. Thus, I thought I would perform a public service and explain to you why some of them are so amazingly awesome that you shouldn't be wasting any more time NOT watching them.

I am currently catching up on the first 3 seasons of How I Met Your Mother. First off, is there a better and worse way to watch a TV show then through the DVDs. You don’t have to wait a week to find out what happens next like the rest of the world had to do at the time it aired. You get to absorb what writers, directors, actors, key grips, and sandwich platter guys spent years of their lives creating in just a few short days. On the flip side, if you do happen to get sucked into the show, it can be very difficult to keep yourself to just a few episodes at a time. You get into the whole “what’s 22 more minutes” zone. It can be dangerous to one’s productivity and ability to get ample sunlight.

On to the show, which is overal excellent, but I believe resonates with me so much because of its similarities to my life. The main character is a man (as am I, except on the first Friday of every month of, of course) in his mid/late 20s (which I currently am, and where I intend on remaining for about 8 more years). He is trying to find the woman who completes him, while not being completely comfortable/happy with the bar scene. He prefers hanging out at bars with his friends (where meeting said woman is highly unlikely) than going to a club (where other good things could happen, if you can somehow get a woman’s attention without losing your hearing, sweating through your only good outfit, and running a tab of 647 American dollars). Finally, he surrounds himself with an engaged couple (the majority of my friends are married or in the process of), an overly misogynistic guy (I’ve known a few…), and a female friend trying to help his cause (I have much love for the girls who have served this role in my life).

The characters are great in this show. Ted (Josh Radner) is the main character, and I think we’ve covered him pretty well. Jason Segel is brilliant as the goofy, engaged best friend Marshall, and thanks to the show being on network television, we are treated to less of his signature male nudity, ala Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Knocked Up. Notice I said less, they still find a way to fit it in here and there. Alyson Hannigan, who I’ve always been a fan of and think is under-appreciatively hot, is more or less reprising her role from the American Pie franchise as Marshall's fiancee' Lily. And newcomer Cobie Smulders not only shows off her acting chops as Robin, but she ain’t bad eye candy either.

For this last character to be discussed, I am going to hand it over to the host of Inside the Actor’s Studio on Bravo. Ladies and Gentlemen, Dean Emeritus James Lipton.

(Applause)

Lipton: Thank you. Now I want to introduce you to, possibly, nay definitely...the greatest actor that has graced both the stage and screen...in the last ten thousand years. You may know as Neil, Doogie, or simply NPH. With no more ado...Neil Patrick Harris!

NPH: Thank you, James. It’s an honor to be here.

Lipton: When you were approached to play….the character Barney…for the new hit sitcom….How I Met Your Mother…what was your reaction? And what did you hope to accomplish with this character?

NPH: Well, James. I really just want to create a fun guy, terrified of commitment, who appears to be as misogynistic and selfish as one can be. However, deep down, he is just very vulnerable and cares deeply for his friends. Plus, I wanted to give some of the best body comedy and one-liners that people who can’t afford cable had every seen. All in all, I wanted to make sure it was LEG….END….wait for it…………DARY!

Lipton: Thank you, Neil. It has been an incredible experience for everyone in a 25 miles radius, and I can now die a happy man. Join me next week when my guest will be Drew Barrymore, who is an absolute delight! ha….ha…ha

Well, wasn’t that fun?...It wasn’t?!?...Well, screw you, stop reading then!

Anyway, I don’t want to give away too much of the show. But if the teaser of episodes about a Canadian Debbie Gibson, a cock-a-mouse, and penis shaped building doesn’t wet your appetite….well then this show probably isn’t for you. But if it does, then let’s SUIT UP!

Top 10 Reasons to Love March Madness

2009-03-16T12:43:00.000-04:00

So by popular demand, I’ve decided to give this blog thing another try. This time around, I am not going to pigeon-hole myself into one topic (i.e. sports), but will try to comment on anything and everything that I find in my little universe. This will likely include sports, music, movies, upcoming events, and even a little politics. You will also be privy to some of the intimate details of my life (won’t that be exciting!), for example, my continued job search.

I will do my best to make it interesting, humorous, and informative. In order to get a steady readership going, I am vowing to post every 3 days for at least the first 2 months, even if its just a short one. That way you don’t keep checking back thinking, “No post in two weeks…I wonder if he died? Should I inform the police? Wonder if I can have his computer?” Well, you can’t, because I will still be alive and need it for writing the blog (hope I didn’t just jinx myself there). So let’s get this show on the road, and if you enjoy these rants, please pass the link on.

Top 10 Reasons to Watch the NCAA College Basketball Tourney

Wanted to start with this very relevant sports topic because the NCAA Men’s Tourney is one of the most fun events of the year, and, like the Super Bowl, it is often enjoyed by both men and women, sports fans and non-sports fans, senior citizens and babies...alright so the babies don’t know what’s going on per se, but research would suggest they are intrigued by the bright colors and quick movements. So here’s why I think you should be watching:

10. Dick Vitale – College basketball announcers tend to be some of the most enthusiastic of any sport, and Dickie V is the Czar of the Energetic Sportscaster. As an added bonus, he’s a Tampa resident and huge Rays fan. Even if you don’t like basketball, you probably recognize his shouts of “Awesome, Baby!” or “We got a Diaper Dandy here!” Which apparently is a complement, even though it compares an 18- or 19-year-old man to a toddler that can’t control his BMs.

9. Mascot Fights – OK, so it doesn’t happen too often, but there is always a possibility. Just look at some of the potential matchups just from teams in the tourney this year: Tigers vs. Bears, Saints vs. Blue Devils, Mountaineers vs. Hilltoppers (Appalachian schools are weird), Spartans vs. Trojans, and of course, the epic Zips vs. the Mocs (what?).

8. “Favorite” team – Maybe you went to school there and attended every home game. Maybe you grew somewhere nearby and caught the occasional game on TV. Maybe your cousin’s best friend went there, and you visited once, and had so much “fun” you woke up on the steps of their Education building. It doesn’t matter! Just latch on to one player’s name, scream at your television, and no one will question whether you’ve been a Lumberjack fan since birth!

7. Household names (sort of) – Every year a few players will make themselves household names for the few weeks that the tournament is running. I still remember following West Virginia’s run a few years ago because of the play of one Kevin Pittsnogle (solid player, more solid name!). Despite numerous tryouts, he has played a grand total of zero NBA minutes. Last year, it was Stephon Curry, and the jury is still out on what kind of player he will be. However, this is your only chance to follow their 15 minutes of fame before the draft gurus get their hands on them and start picking apart all the reasons their game isn’t suited for the NBA…

6. Draft preview - …on the flip side, thanks to the new-ish age limit in the NBA, this is your only chance to see how far the superstars can take their teams (I’m looking at you Blake Griffin). Kevin Durant (Texas) and O.J. Mayo (USC) couldn’t produce deep runs for their teams, but Melo got Syracuse a championship. Will Sooner fans be so lucky?

5. National Tourney Day – Granted, I don’t have a real work schedule, and can take days off whenever I want. However, someday I will have a “real” job, and that is why I have been pushing for the first Thursday of the tournament to be national holiday for years now. 16 games on TV, spread out almost perfectly throughout the whole day (I still don’t understand the break in games from 5-7ish), with everyone’s brackets still intact for most of it. Sure, there are just as many games on Friday, but a little bit of the shine has worn off since then. So come this Thursday, get yourself a 12-pack and a good seat in front of the TV!

4. Upsets – You don’t have to have any interest in either team in a game to turn it on and root for the underdogs. If you come across a #4-#13 matchup, are you really going to root for Wake Forest, a perennial powerhouse, who make the tournament every year, usually as a #1-#6 seed? Or are you going to root for Cleveland State (I know I will!), who hasn’t been to the tournament since 1986 and that one win would make their century as a basketball program? Obviously, I like this example, but this scenario works for any game with a seed #3-#7 playing in any game against a seed #10-#14.

3. Super-upsets!?! – For those of you that don’t know, a #16 seed has never beaten a #1 seed in the 96 games played between them since the tourney expanded in 1985. In fact, only 5 of those teams came within 5 points! But the law of averages would say that some little team is going to get hot, run into the perfect storm, and knock off one of the big boys. Don’t you want to say you were watching when that happened? Plus, imagine how much “fun” it would be for the fans of the #1 (for example, if it was UNC) to hear the stat that they were the only team to ever lose like that….EVERY…SINGLE…MARCH. Don’t like those odds? 4 #15 seeds have beaten #2 seeds out of the 96 matchups (4%)…slightly more likely and would still make for an exciting game.

2. Deep runs – Upsets are great for all the reasons mentioned above. But let’s take it a step further. That plucky little #12 seed knocks of the #5 in the first round on pure adrenaline, and then they get hot from three and pull off another upset against the #4. Now, they suddenly have a sweet 16 game with a week off for the whole country to discuss why they were underrated and why they have a chance to pull off another one. The whole country is talking about them, how they ruined their office bracket, and whether they could really make the Final Four. No big pressure for a team that won the MEAC and hadn’t ever beaten a Top 25 team until last week. Anybody who remembers the George Mason run from a few years ago knows how cool this can be.

1. Brackets – It’s the one sports gambling pool that everyone can get into. Billions of dollars of productivity are lost every year while people research, fill out, and follow their brackets. Your average sports fan will read every article he or she can find, analyze the teams and matchups, carefully script how the tournament will play out, and fill out 2-6 brackets just to cover the extra bases. And you know what…every single one of those brackets will be destroyed by this Sunday! We all know the person who is going win: your buddy’s girlfriend, who has never watched a basketball game for more than 2 minutes, has never heard of the Dayton Flyers, and figured American University would have to have a deep run since they had a whole country behind them. But at least when you head to the bars with them in April, you can take solace in knowing you helped pay for the new shoes she’s stepping out in. Or maybe not… but it’s all part of what makes March Madness so great!